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Title: That There is Truth, That Love is Real (AO3)
Series: Star Trek 2009
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Betas:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tresa_cho, faoi_cheilt
Words: 5192
Content Advisory: Character death
Summary: Their relationship is a series of firsts, and Jim wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Notes:This is the shortest thing I’ve written since I first entered this fandom. No, seriously. It’s less than 6,000 words. But I couldn’t get it out of my head, and so it got written.
Also um…character death is in this. So bring tissues. (I feel like I should say I’m sorry, or something. I’ve never killed them before, so I don’t know what the protocol is here.)
Title taken from the song Clark Gable by the Postal Service. The song that Bones plays in his quarters is Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones.
The First Clue
It’s hard to notice, but Jim catches on during an away mission.
The two suns of planet 4576-B are shining brightly, and the weather is humid and clear. Jim is partnered with Bones, and he’s listening as he talks about Georgia.
Bones is actually smiling as he recounts a story about skinny-dipping in the lake at his uncle’s house, and Jim looks at him and his heart quickens, his breaths shallow.
All Jim can think is I would do anything for that smile.
The First Date
It’s a few days later, and Jim and Bones are in the mess eating lunch just the two of them. The hum of ship scuttlebutt surrounds them, and Jim looks at Bones and feels his heart do the familiar skipping. It makes him feel warm, and it also makes him ask, “Do you have any plans for Shore Leave?”
Bones pauses in the middle of drinking his coffee to give Jim a perplexed look. “No. Why?”
Jim smiles the one he reserves for charming people and says “I was thinking you and I could go out, get dinner, maybe catch some live music. Maybe drinks after.” He shrugs. “Play it by ear.”
Bones has sat the coffee back on the table and is giving Jim a serious look. “If I didn’t know better,” he says after a long pause, “I’d think you were asking me on a date.”
Jim’s smile softens, and his cheeks flush. “That depends on what your answer is.”
Now Bones looks moderately surprised, but he doesn’t back away or yell at him. He thinks very carefully, and Jim waits.
“All right,” Bones says. “Pick me up at 19:30.”
Jim leans back in his chair, trying to look casual and not betray how happy Bones has made him. “Okay.” They go back to their lunch, and Jim looks at Bones with something sparkling in his eyes, and Bones looks at Jim and smiles.
The next night starts the leave on Risa, and Jim goes to Bones’ quarters at 19:30 on the dot. He’s wearing a blue shirt and jeans, and he pushes the bell to Bones’ door. Bones doesn’t say anything over the intercom; he instead comes out wearing a brown jacket with a green shirt, and Jim can’t help but think it’s the best he’s ever looked.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
They head out. Jim’s made reservations at a restaurant that serves fusion cuisine, and they laugh easily and talk even more so. Jim reaches out and touches Bones’ arm, and Bones smiles and locks eyes with him more than once.
A band is playing at a club next door, live Jazz, and they decide to take in the show. Jim pays for the drinks, and they sit at a table listening to the music. Jim decides to go for it, and he reaches down and takes Bones’ hand in his. Bones doesn’t look down, but his cheeks flush as he laces their fingers together. They stay like that through the rest of the set, and finally it’s time to go.
They take their time walking back to the transporter pad, and just before they reach it, Bones turns to Jim and says, “So…we should do this again.”
Jim is delighted because he wants that too, but he doesn’t want to be pushy. He doesn’t want to move too fast with this; he feels like all the fun is in getting there. “Okay. How about tomorrow? You can pick the place.”
Bones smiles as he says, “I don’t have other plans. Tomorrow works.”
Jim grins and lets go of his hand, and they’re beamed back to the ship.
Then Jim walks Bones to his quarters and says good night.
The First Kiss
They’re on date number three, and Shore Leave is almost over. Today is a holiday on Risa, and they spend the whole day taking in the festivities together. They go to an open-air market, they play games, they eat and drink, and now they’re walking along a pier.
Jim stops Bones at a railing, and they gaze out over the water. The moons are full and high in the sky, and Jim looks down at them reflected in the sea. It’s a little chilly, and he shivers once. Without asking, Bones puts his arm around his shoulders and holds him close.
Jim wraps an arm around Bones’ waist and holds it there; he looks up at Bones’ face. His eyes are dark and glittering in the faint light, and his hair is messy from the wind. Eventually Bones senses he’s being looked at and favors him with a raised eyebrow.
Jim tilts his head and closes his eyes; Bones meets him halfway and they kiss, long and sweet as fireworks brighten up the night.
As they break apart, the only word Jim can think of is perfect.
The First Dance
The ship’s in warp, and with a brief talk to Spock that doesn’t go into detail, they’re on the same schedule. They still take their meals in the mess, but they spend just as much time alone in either Jim’s quarters or Bones’.
Today, though, Bones is acting secretive and tells Jim to meet him in his quarters at 19:00. Jim is curious but doesn’t ask, and he goes with it.
So Jim shows up in civilian clothes, and when Bones opens the door, there’s an honest-to-goodness home cooked meal on the table. Mashed potatoes, meatloaf, apple pie…all of Jim’s favorites.
Jim stares at Bones in pleased shock, and they eat together. It’s going great, and then Bones tells the computer to queue up a playlist. A slow guitar riff starts playing, and Bones stands, holding a hand out to him. Jim takes it with a confused expression as Bones pulls him to the living room and holds him close around his waist.
They start moving to the music, and Jim gets it. He puts his hands on Bones’ shoulders as they dance in circles around the room. Jim feels himself blush, and he moves just a tiny bit closer. He hears Bones hum along softly to the music as he thinks of lyrics about wild horses and off-stage exits.
The song ends, a new one starts, and they continue dancing. Jim thinks that with all the sex and flings he’s had, just this, just being held like this is the best he’s ever had. He shifts so his head is on Bones’ shoulder, and he closes his eyes.
They do this for three more songs before he moves back to face Bones. They kiss and move to the couch.
They spend hours just talking and kissing, and Jim has never been happier.
The First Time They Have Sex
Two more weeks have passed, and they’re spending the evening in Jim’s quarters. They’re drinking, nursing Bones’ good bourbon when Bones suddenly puts his glass down.
“So…” he begins, looking away for a second. “Are you seeing anyone else?”
Jim blinks, putting his own drink on the table. “No.”
Bones looks relieved, but he clearly has planned what he needs to say. He continues with, “It’s okay if you are. I mean…I don’t want…I’m not. But if there’s someone else that you want…it’s fine. I know how you are.”
Jim smiles. “I don’t want anyone else. Haven’t for a while.”
Bones smiles too, that bright smile that started this whole thing, and sighs. “Oh. Well…okay.”
Jim looks down at the table for a second, before looking back up at Bones through his lashes. “I think this means we’re serious about each other,” he says, his tone light and happy.
Bones takes a sip of bourbon. “I reckon it does.” There’s a grin on Bones’ face, and Jim’s heart skips because he’s the reason it’s there. Bones moves so that he’s sitting next to Jim instead of across, and he touches his face. Jim closes the distance, and they kiss quiet and slow.
Something is different this time, though, and Jim’s hit with a longing and a need he hasn’t felt before. A thought clicks in the back of his mind, and he decides the timing is right. Everything they’ve been doing has felt so tentative and soft, but now he knows it’s more than that so it’s time to move forward.
So Jim breaks the kiss and pulls Bones off the chair, slowly walking him to his bedroom.
Bones takes in their surroundings and clears his throat. “Are you sure?”
Jim is nervous; more importantly he wants this, so he replies with, “I want to be close to you.”
Something shifts in Bones’ eyes, and Jim sees that there’s need there too. Bones leans in and kisses him again, and they fall onto the bed. They take turns undressing each other, hands caressing newly exposed skin. Bones finds the ticklish spot just under Jim’s ribs, while Jim discovers that Bones purrs when he kisses his neck.
They end up with Jim on his back, Bones lying on top of him between his thighs. Their cocks rub against each other as Bones rolls his hips forward. Jim runs his hands down Bones’ back as Bones kisses him and continues to move. Burying his face in Bones’ neck, Jim starts to whimper as their cocks slide together and apart, together and apart.
It doesn’t take long before they’re moving faster, before his whimpers become moans, before Bones starts whispering nonsense, and then Jim comes on his stomach. Bones finishes a second later, striping Jim’s chest with his release. They pant together before Bones rolls off him, lying on his side.
Bones reaches a hand out and strokes Jim’s face. He smiles, and it makes Jim’s heart ache.
“Stay the night?” Jim asks as he grips Bones’ arm, half afraid of what he will say.
Bones stops touching him and gives him a serious look. “You hate it when people…”
Jim cuts him off. “I hate it when people. You’re not people.”
Smiling again, Bones pulls Jim into his arms. “All right. I’ll stay.”
Bones quietly asks Geoff to take over as Jim’s doctor the next day.
The First Fight
It’s been two months since the first night Bones slept over, and he’s all but moved into Jim’s quarters. They have a mission that day, and after Jim helps Bones shave they kiss each other for luck.
It’s just routine fact-finding, and Jim is actually a little bored. The planet’s uninhabited, so there are no people to interact with. There are animals, though, big ones that are similar to Clydesdales but with six legs instead of four. Jim lets them graze in peace nearby as he examines some flora.
Bones isn’t too far away, but they can’t really talk as they work. The sun is hot on Jim’s neck as he takes readings with a tricorder. He can’t help but think of how nice it would be if he and Bones were here on a picnic. He daydreams a little, and without meaning to he moves closer to the horses.
Out of nowhere a loud roar is heard, and the horses start panicking. A large creature, red with a mouth full of sharp teeth, appears. Jim starts to run, and the horses are on his heels. He sees Bones move in the distance; he hears him shouting Jim’s name. Jim keeps running, trying to avoid getting hit when he suddenly falls.
The next thing he feels is sharp pain and hooves, he hears Bones shout his name again, and then everything goes black.
Jim wakes up later, but he’s in a biobed in sickbay. His chest, head, and right ankle hurt, his left arm’s in a sling, and everything is quiet.
He looks to his left and Bones is sitting in a chair next to him, obviously having not slept or shaved. His head’s resting on the rung of the bed, and his eyes are both fearful and relieved as he realizes Jim’s awake.
“Thank God,” Bones whispers.
Jim gives him a shaky smile. “Why aren’t you working?” he asks as he tries to sit up.
Bones’ eyes move to the floor as he helps him. “I’m compromised,” is the only answer Jim gets, and it makes him feel sick inside.
Geoff pulls the privacy curtain back and comes in, giving Jim instructions and telling him how long he’s on stand-down for. He then hands a bag to Bones, giving him a tense but pointed look. Jim broke his clavicle and ankle, hence the sling, and has a concussion, hence the headache. He needs supervision for the next week while the bone finishes healing after regeneration.
Geoff gives the okay for them to move to their quarters, and he also gives Bones another pointed look. Something is different about Bones now; the lines around his mouth are tight, and he won’t look Jim in the eye.
Jim decides he can wait to ask.
They slowly make their way from medical to the captain’s quarters, and after Bones arranges him in bed and fluffs the pillows, Jim sighs.
“What’s going on?”
Bones stands and paces. It takes him so long to answer, Jim almost asks a second time.
“This is how it’s going to be, isn’t it?” Bones says, and it comes out harsh, like an accusation.
Jim isn’t stupid so he gets Bones’ point, and he tries to be reassuring. “This was a freak accident. I did everything I could to get out of the way, but I just wasn’t fast enough. It won’t happen again.”
“It’s always a freak accident,” Bones snaps, and Jim frowns. “It’s always you did everything you could, and this shit happens every time.”
Jim narrows his eyes because Bones’ words sting. “You’re acting like I do it on purpose. Like I walk into these things wanting to get hurt or kidnapped or whatever. I don’t, Bones, but sometimes shit goes sideways, and there’s nothing that can be done about it!”
“You don’t have to go!” Bones yells. “Send Sulu! Send someone else! It doesn’t always have to be you!”
Now Jim is furious. “You know I can’t do that! You know I can’t ask it of my crew if I’m not willing to do it myself!”
“So what?” Bones is still pacing. “I’m supposed to just sit back and watch you get killed? Is that what you want? I can’t do that, Jim, I can’t fucking do that!”
The anger leaves Jim at this, and he suddenly gets frightened. He swallows and looks down at their bed. “You’re leaving me.”
It’s not a question.
Bones finally stops pacing and looks at Jim, really looks at him. The fight’s drained out of him, too, and he sighs. “I didn’t say that.”
“You may as well have,” Jim mumbles. He feels, rather than sees, Bones sit facing him. Bones reaches out to him, but stops at the last second like he doesn’t have the right.
“You’re probably right,” Bones concedes, and Jim looks up at him and sees all the pain and fear for what it is. He sees that Bones’ eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, and he feels sick again. “I’m sorry, Jim. I just…I just didn’t know how hard it would be. This whole thing shook me up more than I thought it would.”
Jim nods. He looks away, and Bones sighs again.
“I didn’t mean to attack you,” Bones continues. “It’s not fair for me to talk to you like that.”
Jim looks at him again, and he knows the hurt is fading off his face. “It’s okay. I mean, I know how you get. It’s fine.”
Bones does reach out that time and takes his right hand. “That doesn’t make it right. You’re the last person I should talk to like that.”
“I won’t argue with you,” Jim agrees; he also half-smiles. “I’m sorry too, for scaring you. I know it was an accident, but I feel awful that you got compromised because of me. So, I’m sorry.”
Bones gets up and takes off his boots. He shifts so that he’s lying on the bed next to Jim. “Here, lift up a second,” and Jim slides forward as best he can. Bones sits up with his back straight against the headboard, and he gently pulls Jim into him. Jim leans his head back on Bones’ shoulder, and he drapes an arm across Jim’s good side.
“It’s not really a surprise that I got compromised,” Bones begins after a few minutes. “What with how I…feel about you.”
Jim closes his eyes. There’s something he wants to say, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the right time. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s saying it only because they fought. “I know. I’d get compromised, too.”
Bones’ hand is warm on his stomach. “Thanks, Jim,” he whispers like he understands. They lie together and after another few minutes, he asks, “Are you in pain?”
“Yeah,” Jim weakly admits.
“I’ll give you a hypo in a bit.” Bones is stroking his hair now.
Jim sighs at the feel of it. “You don’t have to stay with me,” he says.
There’s a long pause before Bones replies. “Yes, I do,” is all that comes out.
Jim doesn’t argue again.
The First Time They Say “I Love You”
Jim is healed and has been back on duty for three weeks. The missions have all gone smoothly recently, and he is thankful for it.
The Enterprise is in orbit by Argelius, and Jim and Bones are on the observation deck alone. The rest of the crew is out partying and enjoying their leave, but they are here together in the silence.
Their hands are joined, and they watch the stars; Jim is standing close to Bones just in case his phobia attacks. He looks at Bones, and Bones looks at him. They smile.
Jim decides that the time is now. He clears his throat and says as casually as he can, “Love you.”
Bones looks at him with wonder before saying, “I love you, too.”
Jim feels like he could float away at this, and his smile is so huge it feels like it could split his face. They move closer, Jim resting his head on Bones’ shoulder.
They watch space together, two hearts beating together in three-fourths time.
The First Anniversary
It’s been a year, and Jim can hardly believe it, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything. They’ve had a lot of ups and some downs together, and Jim is still happier than he’s ever been.
Bones, however, could be having a better night. “I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” he grumbles as he looks at his cards. He pulls two and passes them face down across their table. “Two.”
Jim is sitting across from him with his chin in his hand, looking at the picture before him.
It’s not just poker, it’s strip poker, and Jim is taking Bones to the cleaners without even trying. All that Bones has left is his boxers, while Jim still has his undershirt, pants, underwear, and socks.
“You’re cute,” Jim says with a grin. He gives Bones the two cards, though, and when Bones visibly brightens he has to fight to keep from laughing. Jim takes one card while not changing his expression. It was exactly what he needed, and now he’s got a Straight Flush.
Bones triumphantly places his cards face up on the table. He has Four of a Kind. “There,” he says. “Beat that!”
Jim shakes his head. “Okay, I will.” He shows his cards, and he thinks Bones’ silence is incredibly loud in the room.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
Jim laughs.
“I don’t believe this.”
Jim continues to laugh, and tears form in his eyes. He gets hit in the face with something, and when he opens them he sees it was Bones’ boxers. Bones is sitting with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face. Jim gets up from the table and lifts Bones’ chin.
“I love you,” Jim says with a smile.
Bones huffs out an exasperated sound.
Jim moves so that he’s straddling Bones’ lap. “I do. I’m not placating you.”
Bones looks up at him and places his hands on Jim’s thighs. “I still don’t understand why we did this after dinner.”
“It’s just an excuse to get you naked,” Jim says as he leans down for a kiss.
Bones kisses him back before breaking it. “All you have to do is ask.”
“True, but this is more fun.” Jim kisses him again, and Bones responds eagerly. Things progress with Jim also shedding his clothing. Bones tongues his ear, which makes Jim melt in his lap.
“I want to spend my life with you,” Bones whispers, and Jim’s eyes widen. Bones has also realized what he said by the way his shoulders stiffen.
Jim pulls back and looks at Bones, really looks at him. “That sounds like a proposal.”
Bones swallows; he opens his mouth for a second before closing it. When he finally speaks, he says, “That depends on what your answer is.”
They’ve never talked about this. Everything they’ve done has been grounded in moments; there’s been little discussion about the future. But Jim thinks about how easy it was for Bones to move in, how right everything feels when he smiles at him.
After pondering this, Jim smiles again. “My answer is yes.”
Bones’ eyes light up, and Jim decides he would say yes a million times just to see this much joy in his face. “Okay,” Bones says as he slides his mouth against Jim’s so they can continue celebrating. “Okay.”
Spock performs the ceremony a month later, with the Bridge Crew and some of the Medical staff as witnesses. Jim holds Bones’ hands, they exchange vows, and when they kiss, there is applause.
The First House
The five-year tour is over, and they have eight months before they go back into space for round two. They’ve been married for close to four now, and everything is good.
The thing is, Starfleet can’t house them permanently, and they’re not comfortable with it besides. So after debating the finer points of California versus Georgia, Georgia wins, and they find themselves a realtor.
The first house isn’t big enough; the second is too dark. The third needs too many repairs to be worthwhile.
The fourth one, though…
Jim is standing in the master bedroom, vaguely hearing the realtor talk about the Jacuzzi tub from the bathroom. He gazes across the room with a distant look on his face.
He feels a hand caress the back of his neck, but he doesn’t look at Bones.
“You’re awful quiet,” Bones says after a minute. “Something wrong?”
Jim shakes his head. The realtor continues talking to herself in the background, not having realized that Bones is with him.
Finally, Jim turns to Bones and says, “I can see us waking up here. Like, the bed will go here,” he says as he points underneath the big window. “And the light will wake us every morning.”
Bones’ eyes soften. “Yeah, I can see that too,” he agrees. “The kitchen’s good, plenty of counter-space.”
“Yeah,” Jim says before turning back to look at the room. Bones keeps rubbing his neck, as the realtor comes out.
“We like this one,” Bones tells her. “What do we have to do to make an offer?”
They fill out a lot of paperwork and submit the offer. It comes back the next morning with a counter. They counter again, and another counter comes back. Jim and Bones accept this one; the house is theirs. They close on it two weeks later, and they move in the next day.
They have to buy a lot of furniture; neither of them have lived someplace not on a spaceship or in Starfleet provided housing for quite some time. The first thing is a bed, and it gets delivered when they move in. It’s a solid oak four-poster antique piece, and it’s huge besides.
Bones is getting the kitchen straightened out while Jim does the bedroom. Their clothes are hung up and put away, curtains are put on the rod above the bay window, and Jim turns his attention to the bed. He covers the mattress with new sheets and admires his handiwork.
Bones calls him downstairs, and Jim goes. Bones isn’t organizing though, much to Jim’s amusement as he sees that there are still boxes everywhere.
He’s cooking.
“I have the bedroom done, just so you know,” Jim teases as Bones holds out a spoon with vodka sauce on it. Jim leans forward and tastes it; it’s good, but it’s missing something. “More salt?” he guesses.
Bones tastes it himself and nods. “More salt.” He adds another pinch and resumes stirring.
Jim leans next to him with his back against the counter. “A man could get used to this,” he says, and Bones gives him a sideways glance.
“You’ll be begging to go back into space in six months,” Bones counters. He sets another pot on their old-fashioned gas range; it’s full of water, and he turns the heat on under it. “You’re going to get bored.”
Jim thinks. “Hm. Maybe, maybe not.” He moves so that he’s standing behind Bones with his hands on his waist. “I think I like having you all to myself.”
The water is bubbling, coming to a rolling boil. Bones throws in the gnocchi and covers the pot. “No emergencies at odd hours, no interruptions, no communicators going off every second…”
Pressing a kiss to Bones’ nape, Jim sighs. “No responsibilities except to ourselves. Like I said, a man could get used to this.”
Bones makes an agreeing noise and turns to face him. He gives him a quick kiss. “Set the table,” he commands, and Jim smiles and obeys. They eat dinner together, and afterward Jim shows off his efforts in their bedroom.
Later that night, as Jim lies in Bones’ arms while the sweat dries on their skin, he decides that he could definitely learn to love not being needed.
The First Year They’re Retired
Jim just turned fifty, and they’ve done five tours. They both agree it’s time to step away, Jim as an Admiral and Bones as a Captain. So they retire, and there’s a ceremony. They’re given good pensions and benefits, and now they live in Georgia full time.
Sometimes Jim misses the activity of a starship. It’s fleeting, however, because he and Bones have time now to do things they haven’t before.
They travel one month out of the year and have new holiday traditions. They get a dog, a Golden retriever Bones jokes has lots in common with Jim. They make improvements on the house to keep its value. Jim learns to garden, and Bones cooks what he grows.
They’re sitting on the swing on their front porch, Jim moving it with his foot. The dog is sleeping on the wood below them, and Jim looks at Bones, who is reading a book.
“What made you say yes to me?” Jim asks, and Bones dog-ears the page to look at him.
Raising an eyebrow, Bones asks, “What, like all those years ago?”
Jim nods. “You had every reason to say no.”
“Actually, no, I didn’t.” Bones looks to the side at the sunset. “I tried to come up with a reason to decline, but none of them were good enough.” He turns back to Jim at this with a smile. “You were so sincere, I couldn’t say anything but yes.”
This pleases Jim, and he shifts closer to Bones in the swing. They kiss like they did when they first got together, and it has long been dark by the time they call it a night.
The First Passing
Decades have passed, and Jim and Bones have grown old together. But that’s all right; it happens, and Jim doesn’t fear aging like other people do.
Then one day Bones gets a cough. Jim asks him to get it examined, and when Bones grouses that he’s a doctor and can take care of himself, Jim doesn’t say anything but instead gives him a look.
Bones goes to the doctor, and there’s a shadow on his lungs. More tests are done, and it’s cancerous. Jim is afraid, but the prognosis seems good enough.
So they face it together.
The treatments seem to work, but Bones starts having dizzy spells. More tests are done, and the cancer has spread. It’s metastasized, and suddenly the treatments can’t keep up. Bones softly asks to go home, and the doctors agree.
Jim takes him home, and at first Bones tries to keep a normal routine. But he’s too weak, and soon he’s spending most of the days sleeping on the porch swing. Jim knows it’s only a matter of time, so he calls their friends to tell them.
Spock and Uhura come first, and it’s like all the double dates they went on as crewmates. Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu arrive a few days later, and for a minute Jim forgets what’s happening. They’re all together again, and for the first time in days, Bones has that wonderful bright smile that Jim loves so much.
Bones slips away that night in his sleep.
Jim doesn’t know what to do, but Uhura and Sulu get him through it. They handle all of the arrangements; they call everyone, while Jim sits on the swing.
He’s mostly numb as they get him to the funeral, and he doesn’t move when he’s handed the flag from the casket.
There’s a reception at the house, and it’s full of people telling good stories about Bones. There’s laughter again, and Jim kisses Uhura and hugs Sulu, not knowing how else to thank them.
That night when the house is dark, and Jim is alone for the first time, he weeps.
The Last Night
It’s been five years now that Jim’s been alone, and while he sees his friends, he’s never remarried or sold the house. He thinks about leaving sometimes, but his life has been here for so long he doesn’t know where else he’d go.
Jim’s learned how to cook, and he still gardens when his knees aren’t stiff. At night he curls up alone in the big bed, still only sleeping on one side out of habit.
Sometimes he thinks he sees Bones, but he figures it’s just hope and loneliness.
It’s a cool night, but Jim is sitting on the porch swing anyways. He feels oddly tired, like he can’t get up. His eyes slide shut, and he drifts off to sleep.
A hand touching him wakes him, and Jim dimly wonders what’s going on. When he looks up, he sees Bones young again before him.
“It’s time, Jim,” Bones says, and he holds out his hands to help him up. Jim reaches out to him, and he sees his hands are smooth instead of wrinkled. Jim is also young, and he smiles at Bones as he stands.
Bones leads him out into the sunrise, and Jim never looks back.
ETA 8/17/12: This fic was the recipient of a Bronze Medal in the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
jim_and_bones Rec Olympics for Best Angst, which because I am dumb I somehow missed it before now.
Series: Star Trek 2009
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Betas:
tresa_cho, faoi_cheiltWords: 5192
Content Advisory: Character death
Summary: Their relationship is a series of firsts, and Jim wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Notes:This is the shortest thing I’ve written since I first entered this fandom. No, seriously. It’s less than 6,000 words. But I couldn’t get it out of my head, and so it got written.
Also um…character death is in this. So bring tissues. (I feel like I should say I’m sorry, or something. I’ve never killed them before, so I don’t know what the protocol is here.)
Title taken from the song Clark Gable by the Postal Service. The song that Bones plays in his quarters is Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones.
The First Clue
It’s hard to notice, but Jim catches on during an away mission.
The two suns of planet 4576-B are shining brightly, and the weather is humid and clear. Jim is partnered with Bones, and he’s listening as he talks about Georgia.
Bones is actually smiling as he recounts a story about skinny-dipping in the lake at his uncle’s house, and Jim looks at him and his heart quickens, his breaths shallow.
All Jim can think is I would do anything for that smile.
The First Date
It’s a few days later, and Jim and Bones are in the mess eating lunch just the two of them. The hum of ship scuttlebutt surrounds them, and Jim looks at Bones and feels his heart do the familiar skipping. It makes him feel warm, and it also makes him ask, “Do you have any plans for Shore Leave?”
Bones pauses in the middle of drinking his coffee to give Jim a perplexed look. “No. Why?”
Jim smiles the one he reserves for charming people and says “I was thinking you and I could go out, get dinner, maybe catch some live music. Maybe drinks after.” He shrugs. “Play it by ear.”
Bones has sat the coffee back on the table and is giving Jim a serious look. “If I didn’t know better,” he says after a long pause, “I’d think you were asking me on a date.”
Jim’s smile softens, and his cheeks flush. “That depends on what your answer is.”
Now Bones looks moderately surprised, but he doesn’t back away or yell at him. He thinks very carefully, and Jim waits.
“All right,” Bones says. “Pick me up at 19:30.”
Jim leans back in his chair, trying to look casual and not betray how happy Bones has made him. “Okay.” They go back to their lunch, and Jim looks at Bones with something sparkling in his eyes, and Bones looks at Jim and smiles.
The next night starts the leave on Risa, and Jim goes to Bones’ quarters at 19:30 on the dot. He’s wearing a blue shirt and jeans, and he pushes the bell to Bones’ door. Bones doesn’t say anything over the intercom; he instead comes out wearing a brown jacket with a green shirt, and Jim can’t help but think it’s the best he’s ever looked.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
They head out. Jim’s made reservations at a restaurant that serves fusion cuisine, and they laugh easily and talk even more so. Jim reaches out and touches Bones’ arm, and Bones smiles and locks eyes with him more than once.
A band is playing at a club next door, live Jazz, and they decide to take in the show. Jim pays for the drinks, and they sit at a table listening to the music. Jim decides to go for it, and he reaches down and takes Bones’ hand in his. Bones doesn’t look down, but his cheeks flush as he laces their fingers together. They stay like that through the rest of the set, and finally it’s time to go.
They take their time walking back to the transporter pad, and just before they reach it, Bones turns to Jim and says, “So…we should do this again.”
Jim is delighted because he wants that too, but he doesn’t want to be pushy. He doesn’t want to move too fast with this; he feels like all the fun is in getting there. “Okay. How about tomorrow? You can pick the place.”
Bones smiles as he says, “I don’t have other plans. Tomorrow works.”
Jim grins and lets go of his hand, and they’re beamed back to the ship.
Then Jim walks Bones to his quarters and says good night.
The First Kiss
They’re on date number three, and Shore Leave is almost over. Today is a holiday on Risa, and they spend the whole day taking in the festivities together. They go to an open-air market, they play games, they eat and drink, and now they’re walking along a pier.
Jim stops Bones at a railing, and they gaze out over the water. The moons are full and high in the sky, and Jim looks down at them reflected in the sea. It’s a little chilly, and he shivers once. Without asking, Bones puts his arm around his shoulders and holds him close.
Jim wraps an arm around Bones’ waist and holds it there; he looks up at Bones’ face. His eyes are dark and glittering in the faint light, and his hair is messy from the wind. Eventually Bones senses he’s being looked at and favors him with a raised eyebrow.
Jim tilts his head and closes his eyes; Bones meets him halfway and they kiss, long and sweet as fireworks brighten up the night.
As they break apart, the only word Jim can think of is perfect.
The First Dance
The ship’s in warp, and with a brief talk to Spock that doesn’t go into detail, they’re on the same schedule. They still take their meals in the mess, but they spend just as much time alone in either Jim’s quarters or Bones’.
Today, though, Bones is acting secretive and tells Jim to meet him in his quarters at 19:00. Jim is curious but doesn’t ask, and he goes with it.
So Jim shows up in civilian clothes, and when Bones opens the door, there’s an honest-to-goodness home cooked meal on the table. Mashed potatoes, meatloaf, apple pie…all of Jim’s favorites.
Jim stares at Bones in pleased shock, and they eat together. It’s going great, and then Bones tells the computer to queue up a playlist. A slow guitar riff starts playing, and Bones stands, holding a hand out to him. Jim takes it with a confused expression as Bones pulls him to the living room and holds him close around his waist.
They start moving to the music, and Jim gets it. He puts his hands on Bones’ shoulders as they dance in circles around the room. Jim feels himself blush, and he moves just a tiny bit closer. He hears Bones hum along softly to the music as he thinks of lyrics about wild horses and off-stage exits.
The song ends, a new one starts, and they continue dancing. Jim thinks that with all the sex and flings he’s had, just this, just being held like this is the best he’s ever had. He shifts so his head is on Bones’ shoulder, and he closes his eyes.
They do this for three more songs before he moves back to face Bones. They kiss and move to the couch.
They spend hours just talking and kissing, and Jim has never been happier.
The First Time They Have Sex
Two more weeks have passed, and they’re spending the evening in Jim’s quarters. They’re drinking, nursing Bones’ good bourbon when Bones suddenly puts his glass down.
“So…” he begins, looking away for a second. “Are you seeing anyone else?”
Jim blinks, putting his own drink on the table. “No.”
Bones looks relieved, but he clearly has planned what he needs to say. He continues with, “It’s okay if you are. I mean…I don’t want…I’m not. But if there’s someone else that you want…it’s fine. I know how you are.”
Jim smiles. “I don’t want anyone else. Haven’t for a while.”
Bones smiles too, that bright smile that started this whole thing, and sighs. “Oh. Well…okay.”
Jim looks down at the table for a second, before looking back up at Bones through his lashes. “I think this means we’re serious about each other,” he says, his tone light and happy.
Bones takes a sip of bourbon. “I reckon it does.” There’s a grin on Bones’ face, and Jim’s heart skips because he’s the reason it’s there. Bones moves so that he’s sitting next to Jim instead of across, and he touches his face. Jim closes the distance, and they kiss quiet and slow.
Something is different this time, though, and Jim’s hit with a longing and a need he hasn’t felt before. A thought clicks in the back of his mind, and he decides the timing is right. Everything they’ve been doing has felt so tentative and soft, but now he knows it’s more than that so it’s time to move forward.
So Jim breaks the kiss and pulls Bones off the chair, slowly walking him to his bedroom.
Bones takes in their surroundings and clears his throat. “Are you sure?”
Jim is nervous; more importantly he wants this, so he replies with, “I want to be close to you.”
Something shifts in Bones’ eyes, and Jim sees that there’s need there too. Bones leans in and kisses him again, and they fall onto the bed. They take turns undressing each other, hands caressing newly exposed skin. Bones finds the ticklish spot just under Jim’s ribs, while Jim discovers that Bones purrs when he kisses his neck.
They end up with Jim on his back, Bones lying on top of him between his thighs. Their cocks rub against each other as Bones rolls his hips forward. Jim runs his hands down Bones’ back as Bones kisses him and continues to move. Burying his face in Bones’ neck, Jim starts to whimper as their cocks slide together and apart, together and apart.
It doesn’t take long before they’re moving faster, before his whimpers become moans, before Bones starts whispering nonsense, and then Jim comes on his stomach. Bones finishes a second later, striping Jim’s chest with his release. They pant together before Bones rolls off him, lying on his side.
Bones reaches a hand out and strokes Jim’s face. He smiles, and it makes Jim’s heart ache.
“Stay the night?” Jim asks as he grips Bones’ arm, half afraid of what he will say.
Bones stops touching him and gives him a serious look. “You hate it when people…”
Jim cuts him off. “I hate it when people. You’re not people.”
Smiling again, Bones pulls Jim into his arms. “All right. I’ll stay.”
Bones quietly asks Geoff to take over as Jim’s doctor the next day.
The First Fight
It’s been two months since the first night Bones slept over, and he’s all but moved into Jim’s quarters. They have a mission that day, and after Jim helps Bones shave they kiss each other for luck.
It’s just routine fact-finding, and Jim is actually a little bored. The planet’s uninhabited, so there are no people to interact with. There are animals, though, big ones that are similar to Clydesdales but with six legs instead of four. Jim lets them graze in peace nearby as he examines some flora.
Bones isn’t too far away, but they can’t really talk as they work. The sun is hot on Jim’s neck as he takes readings with a tricorder. He can’t help but think of how nice it would be if he and Bones were here on a picnic. He daydreams a little, and without meaning to he moves closer to the horses.
Out of nowhere a loud roar is heard, and the horses start panicking. A large creature, red with a mouth full of sharp teeth, appears. Jim starts to run, and the horses are on his heels. He sees Bones move in the distance; he hears him shouting Jim’s name. Jim keeps running, trying to avoid getting hit when he suddenly falls.
The next thing he feels is sharp pain and hooves, he hears Bones shout his name again, and then everything goes black.
Jim wakes up later, but he’s in a biobed in sickbay. His chest, head, and right ankle hurt, his left arm’s in a sling, and everything is quiet.
He looks to his left and Bones is sitting in a chair next to him, obviously having not slept or shaved. His head’s resting on the rung of the bed, and his eyes are both fearful and relieved as he realizes Jim’s awake.
“Thank God,” Bones whispers.
Jim gives him a shaky smile. “Why aren’t you working?” he asks as he tries to sit up.
Bones’ eyes move to the floor as he helps him. “I’m compromised,” is the only answer Jim gets, and it makes him feel sick inside.
Geoff pulls the privacy curtain back and comes in, giving Jim instructions and telling him how long he’s on stand-down for. He then hands a bag to Bones, giving him a tense but pointed look. Jim broke his clavicle and ankle, hence the sling, and has a concussion, hence the headache. He needs supervision for the next week while the bone finishes healing after regeneration.
Geoff gives the okay for them to move to their quarters, and he also gives Bones another pointed look. Something is different about Bones now; the lines around his mouth are tight, and he won’t look Jim in the eye.
Jim decides he can wait to ask.
They slowly make their way from medical to the captain’s quarters, and after Bones arranges him in bed and fluffs the pillows, Jim sighs.
“What’s going on?”
Bones stands and paces. It takes him so long to answer, Jim almost asks a second time.
“This is how it’s going to be, isn’t it?” Bones says, and it comes out harsh, like an accusation.
Jim isn’t stupid so he gets Bones’ point, and he tries to be reassuring. “This was a freak accident. I did everything I could to get out of the way, but I just wasn’t fast enough. It won’t happen again.”
“It’s always a freak accident,” Bones snaps, and Jim frowns. “It’s always you did everything you could, and this shit happens every time.”
Jim narrows his eyes because Bones’ words sting. “You’re acting like I do it on purpose. Like I walk into these things wanting to get hurt or kidnapped or whatever. I don’t, Bones, but sometimes shit goes sideways, and there’s nothing that can be done about it!”
“You don’t have to go!” Bones yells. “Send Sulu! Send someone else! It doesn’t always have to be you!”
Now Jim is furious. “You know I can’t do that! You know I can’t ask it of my crew if I’m not willing to do it myself!”
“So what?” Bones is still pacing. “I’m supposed to just sit back and watch you get killed? Is that what you want? I can’t do that, Jim, I can’t fucking do that!”
The anger leaves Jim at this, and he suddenly gets frightened. He swallows and looks down at their bed. “You’re leaving me.”
It’s not a question.
Bones finally stops pacing and looks at Jim, really looks at him. The fight’s drained out of him, too, and he sighs. “I didn’t say that.”
“You may as well have,” Jim mumbles. He feels, rather than sees, Bones sit facing him. Bones reaches out to him, but stops at the last second like he doesn’t have the right.
“You’re probably right,” Bones concedes, and Jim looks up at him and sees all the pain and fear for what it is. He sees that Bones’ eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, and he feels sick again. “I’m sorry, Jim. I just…I just didn’t know how hard it would be. This whole thing shook me up more than I thought it would.”
Jim nods. He looks away, and Bones sighs again.
“I didn’t mean to attack you,” Bones continues. “It’s not fair for me to talk to you like that.”
Jim looks at him again, and he knows the hurt is fading off his face. “It’s okay. I mean, I know how you get. It’s fine.”
Bones does reach out that time and takes his right hand. “That doesn’t make it right. You’re the last person I should talk to like that.”
“I won’t argue with you,” Jim agrees; he also half-smiles. “I’m sorry too, for scaring you. I know it was an accident, but I feel awful that you got compromised because of me. So, I’m sorry.”
Bones gets up and takes off his boots. He shifts so that he’s lying on the bed next to Jim. “Here, lift up a second,” and Jim slides forward as best he can. Bones sits up with his back straight against the headboard, and he gently pulls Jim into him. Jim leans his head back on Bones’ shoulder, and he drapes an arm across Jim’s good side.
“It’s not really a surprise that I got compromised,” Bones begins after a few minutes. “What with how I…feel about you.”
Jim closes his eyes. There’s something he wants to say, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the right time. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s saying it only because they fought. “I know. I’d get compromised, too.”
Bones’ hand is warm on his stomach. “Thanks, Jim,” he whispers like he understands. They lie together and after another few minutes, he asks, “Are you in pain?”
“Yeah,” Jim weakly admits.
“I’ll give you a hypo in a bit.” Bones is stroking his hair now.
Jim sighs at the feel of it. “You don’t have to stay with me,” he says.
There’s a long pause before Bones replies. “Yes, I do,” is all that comes out.
Jim doesn’t argue again.
The First Time They Say “I Love You”
Jim is healed and has been back on duty for three weeks. The missions have all gone smoothly recently, and he is thankful for it.
The Enterprise is in orbit by Argelius, and Jim and Bones are on the observation deck alone. The rest of the crew is out partying and enjoying their leave, but they are here together in the silence.
Their hands are joined, and they watch the stars; Jim is standing close to Bones just in case his phobia attacks. He looks at Bones, and Bones looks at him. They smile.
Jim decides that the time is now. He clears his throat and says as casually as he can, “Love you.”
Bones looks at him with wonder before saying, “I love you, too.”
Jim feels like he could float away at this, and his smile is so huge it feels like it could split his face. They move closer, Jim resting his head on Bones’ shoulder.
They watch space together, two hearts beating together in three-fourths time.
The First Anniversary
It’s been a year, and Jim can hardly believe it, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything. They’ve had a lot of ups and some downs together, and Jim is still happier than he’s ever been.
Bones, however, could be having a better night. “I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” he grumbles as he looks at his cards. He pulls two and passes them face down across their table. “Two.”
Jim is sitting across from him with his chin in his hand, looking at the picture before him.
It’s not just poker, it’s strip poker, and Jim is taking Bones to the cleaners without even trying. All that Bones has left is his boxers, while Jim still has his undershirt, pants, underwear, and socks.
“You’re cute,” Jim says with a grin. He gives Bones the two cards, though, and when Bones visibly brightens he has to fight to keep from laughing. Jim takes one card while not changing his expression. It was exactly what he needed, and now he’s got a Straight Flush.
Bones triumphantly places his cards face up on the table. He has Four of a Kind. “There,” he says. “Beat that!”
Jim shakes his head. “Okay, I will.” He shows his cards, and he thinks Bones’ silence is incredibly loud in the room.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
Jim laughs.
“I don’t believe this.”
Jim continues to laugh, and tears form in his eyes. He gets hit in the face with something, and when he opens them he sees it was Bones’ boxers. Bones is sitting with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face. Jim gets up from the table and lifts Bones’ chin.
“I love you,” Jim says with a smile.
Bones huffs out an exasperated sound.
Jim moves so that he’s straddling Bones’ lap. “I do. I’m not placating you.”
Bones looks up at him and places his hands on Jim’s thighs. “I still don’t understand why we did this after dinner.”
“It’s just an excuse to get you naked,” Jim says as he leans down for a kiss.
Bones kisses him back before breaking it. “All you have to do is ask.”
“True, but this is more fun.” Jim kisses him again, and Bones responds eagerly. Things progress with Jim also shedding his clothing. Bones tongues his ear, which makes Jim melt in his lap.
“I want to spend my life with you,” Bones whispers, and Jim’s eyes widen. Bones has also realized what he said by the way his shoulders stiffen.
Jim pulls back and looks at Bones, really looks at him. “That sounds like a proposal.”
Bones swallows; he opens his mouth for a second before closing it. When he finally speaks, he says, “That depends on what your answer is.”
They’ve never talked about this. Everything they’ve done has been grounded in moments; there’s been little discussion about the future. But Jim thinks about how easy it was for Bones to move in, how right everything feels when he smiles at him.
After pondering this, Jim smiles again. “My answer is yes.”
Bones’ eyes light up, and Jim decides he would say yes a million times just to see this much joy in his face. “Okay,” Bones says as he slides his mouth against Jim’s so they can continue celebrating. “Okay.”
Spock performs the ceremony a month later, with the Bridge Crew and some of the Medical staff as witnesses. Jim holds Bones’ hands, they exchange vows, and when they kiss, there is applause.
The First House
The five-year tour is over, and they have eight months before they go back into space for round two. They’ve been married for close to four now, and everything is good.
The thing is, Starfleet can’t house them permanently, and they’re not comfortable with it besides. So after debating the finer points of California versus Georgia, Georgia wins, and they find themselves a realtor.
The first house isn’t big enough; the second is too dark. The third needs too many repairs to be worthwhile.
The fourth one, though…
Jim is standing in the master bedroom, vaguely hearing the realtor talk about the Jacuzzi tub from the bathroom. He gazes across the room with a distant look on his face.
He feels a hand caress the back of his neck, but he doesn’t look at Bones.
“You’re awful quiet,” Bones says after a minute. “Something wrong?”
Jim shakes his head. The realtor continues talking to herself in the background, not having realized that Bones is with him.
Finally, Jim turns to Bones and says, “I can see us waking up here. Like, the bed will go here,” he says as he points underneath the big window. “And the light will wake us every morning.”
Bones’ eyes soften. “Yeah, I can see that too,” he agrees. “The kitchen’s good, plenty of counter-space.”
“Yeah,” Jim says before turning back to look at the room. Bones keeps rubbing his neck, as the realtor comes out.
“We like this one,” Bones tells her. “What do we have to do to make an offer?”
They fill out a lot of paperwork and submit the offer. It comes back the next morning with a counter. They counter again, and another counter comes back. Jim and Bones accept this one; the house is theirs. They close on it two weeks later, and they move in the next day.
They have to buy a lot of furniture; neither of them have lived someplace not on a spaceship or in Starfleet provided housing for quite some time. The first thing is a bed, and it gets delivered when they move in. It’s a solid oak four-poster antique piece, and it’s huge besides.
Bones is getting the kitchen straightened out while Jim does the bedroom. Their clothes are hung up and put away, curtains are put on the rod above the bay window, and Jim turns his attention to the bed. He covers the mattress with new sheets and admires his handiwork.
Bones calls him downstairs, and Jim goes. Bones isn’t organizing though, much to Jim’s amusement as he sees that there are still boxes everywhere.
He’s cooking.
“I have the bedroom done, just so you know,” Jim teases as Bones holds out a spoon with vodka sauce on it. Jim leans forward and tastes it; it’s good, but it’s missing something. “More salt?” he guesses.
Bones tastes it himself and nods. “More salt.” He adds another pinch and resumes stirring.
Jim leans next to him with his back against the counter. “A man could get used to this,” he says, and Bones gives him a sideways glance.
“You’ll be begging to go back into space in six months,” Bones counters. He sets another pot on their old-fashioned gas range; it’s full of water, and he turns the heat on under it. “You’re going to get bored.”
Jim thinks. “Hm. Maybe, maybe not.” He moves so that he’s standing behind Bones with his hands on his waist. “I think I like having you all to myself.”
The water is bubbling, coming to a rolling boil. Bones throws in the gnocchi and covers the pot. “No emergencies at odd hours, no interruptions, no communicators going off every second…”
Pressing a kiss to Bones’ nape, Jim sighs. “No responsibilities except to ourselves. Like I said, a man could get used to this.”
Bones makes an agreeing noise and turns to face him. He gives him a quick kiss. “Set the table,” he commands, and Jim smiles and obeys. They eat dinner together, and afterward Jim shows off his efforts in their bedroom.
Later that night, as Jim lies in Bones’ arms while the sweat dries on their skin, he decides that he could definitely learn to love not being needed.
The First Year They’re Retired
Jim just turned fifty, and they’ve done five tours. They both agree it’s time to step away, Jim as an Admiral and Bones as a Captain. So they retire, and there’s a ceremony. They’re given good pensions and benefits, and now they live in Georgia full time.
Sometimes Jim misses the activity of a starship. It’s fleeting, however, because he and Bones have time now to do things they haven’t before.
They travel one month out of the year and have new holiday traditions. They get a dog, a Golden retriever Bones jokes has lots in common with Jim. They make improvements on the house to keep its value. Jim learns to garden, and Bones cooks what he grows.
They’re sitting on the swing on their front porch, Jim moving it with his foot. The dog is sleeping on the wood below them, and Jim looks at Bones, who is reading a book.
“What made you say yes to me?” Jim asks, and Bones dog-ears the page to look at him.
Raising an eyebrow, Bones asks, “What, like all those years ago?”
Jim nods. “You had every reason to say no.”
“Actually, no, I didn’t.” Bones looks to the side at the sunset. “I tried to come up with a reason to decline, but none of them were good enough.” He turns back to Jim at this with a smile. “You were so sincere, I couldn’t say anything but yes.”
This pleases Jim, and he shifts closer to Bones in the swing. They kiss like they did when they first got together, and it has long been dark by the time they call it a night.
The First Passing
Decades have passed, and Jim and Bones have grown old together. But that’s all right; it happens, and Jim doesn’t fear aging like other people do.
Then one day Bones gets a cough. Jim asks him to get it examined, and when Bones grouses that he’s a doctor and can take care of himself, Jim doesn’t say anything but instead gives him a look.
Bones goes to the doctor, and there’s a shadow on his lungs. More tests are done, and it’s cancerous. Jim is afraid, but the prognosis seems good enough.
So they face it together.
The treatments seem to work, but Bones starts having dizzy spells. More tests are done, and the cancer has spread. It’s metastasized, and suddenly the treatments can’t keep up. Bones softly asks to go home, and the doctors agree.
Jim takes him home, and at first Bones tries to keep a normal routine. But he’s too weak, and soon he’s spending most of the days sleeping on the porch swing. Jim knows it’s only a matter of time, so he calls their friends to tell them.
Spock and Uhura come first, and it’s like all the double dates they went on as crewmates. Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu arrive a few days later, and for a minute Jim forgets what’s happening. They’re all together again, and for the first time in days, Bones has that wonderful bright smile that Jim loves so much.
Bones slips away that night in his sleep.
Jim doesn’t know what to do, but Uhura and Sulu get him through it. They handle all of the arrangements; they call everyone, while Jim sits on the swing.
He’s mostly numb as they get him to the funeral, and he doesn’t move when he’s handed the flag from the casket.
There’s a reception at the house, and it’s full of people telling good stories about Bones. There’s laughter again, and Jim kisses Uhura and hugs Sulu, not knowing how else to thank them.
That night when the house is dark, and Jim is alone for the first time, he weeps.
The Last Night
It’s been five years now that Jim’s been alone, and while he sees his friends, he’s never remarried or sold the house. He thinks about leaving sometimes, but his life has been here for so long he doesn’t know where else he’d go.
Jim’s learned how to cook, and he still gardens when his knees aren’t stiff. At night he curls up alone in the big bed, still only sleeping on one side out of habit.
Sometimes he thinks he sees Bones, but he figures it’s just hope and loneliness.
It’s a cool night, but Jim is sitting on the porch swing anyways. He feels oddly tired, like he can’t get up. His eyes slide shut, and he drifts off to sleep.
A hand touching him wakes him, and Jim dimly wonders what’s going on. When he looks up, he sees Bones young again before him.
“It’s time, Jim,” Bones says, and he holds out his hands to help him up. Jim reaches out to him, and he sees his hands are smooth instead of wrinkled. Jim is also young, and he smiles at Bones as he stands.
Bones leads him out into the sunrise, and Jim never looks back.
ETA 8/17/12: This fic was the recipient of a Bronze Medal in the
jim_and_bones Rec Olympics for Best Angst, which because I am dumb I somehow missed it before now.
