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Title: Variations on a Theme (Science versus Romance) 3/5
Series: Star Trek Star Trek Starrrr Treekkkkk...Reboot verse, specifically.
Rating: PG/PG-13ish. There's swearing, but other than that it's okay.
Summary: The Enterprise comes down with a bug. Jim decides to show Bones that they're meant to be. These two things are related.
Pairings: Jim/Bones, Spock/Uhura, mentions of previous Jim/Rand and Jim/Chekov (YOU READ THAT RIGHT)
Disclaimers: Totally do not own anyone in this. It's purely for entertainment value, so please JJ Abrams and Paramount and people who handle Gene Roddenberry's estate, please be nice.
Notes: For the purposes of this fanfic, replicator technology exists. I suggest if that's going to bug you a lot that you shouldn't read it. Also, this is a romantic-comedy/crackfic that somehow evolved into sixty-three pages of I don't even know what.
When last we left off, the Enterprise had turned into a theme park, Bones and Jim went on a date, Chekov was freebasing Red Bull, and Sulu rightfully thought everyone else was nuts.
Captain Kirk stepped onto observation deck two, now affectionately referred to as the water deck.
During the course of the night and into the morning, the slide had turned into several tube slides and an open one. That in turn had begotten a wave pool. Which had also in turn bore a lazy river.
There was now a full-on water park on the second deck of the USS Enterprise.
The security staff had scheduled rotas for life guarding. There were inner tubes and a tiki bar. He didn't really know how it was physically possible that the ship built this or how it wasn't killing their water supply. He didn't know how no one had gotten injured here either.
He just knew it was the most awesome thing in the history of ever.
Granted, Bones and Spock were both right. It was somewhat dangerous and he didn't want to think about where all the water would slosh if they got attacked. But he couldn't deny how much more relaxed and happy his crew was with a way to divert their stress. They all looked like they were having such a good time here, it really bothered him to have to take it away.
Maybe he could wish for a rubber floor.
-----
True to their word, Chekov and Scotty had stayed up all night and then some in order to try and stop the virus. At this point, Chekov was on his fifth Red Bull while Scotty was purely running on adrenaline.
If he was being honest with himself, Scotty was more exhilarated than anything else. It had been a long time since he had been challenged in any real way by anything. Sure when the ship would be having some sort of crisis, he would have to think on his feet to save them all. But that was usually reversing a polarity here or ejecting a warp core there. It was so fast that he didn't get a chance to enjoy it and he didn't have to worry since his math was always right.
The problem was that there was no real variety of challenge.
So this bug or virus was making him happy, in an odd way. Sure he was pissed that someone on the ship decided to mess with his girl's programming. Who wouldn't be?
The fact that he got to really work on something hard for once...well it wasn't exactly unwelcome.
Chekov, on the other hand, was growing more irritable as time went on. Firstly, he didn't do well with no sleep. He was lucky as he had always been smart enough where he didn't need to pull any all-nighters, even at the Academy. As such, sleep deprivation tended to hit him harder than most of the other senior officers.
Secondly, the caffeine was disagreeing with him. He tended to stay away from it as a general rule because he was excitable enough naturally. All of the excess caffeine he was taking in to pull off said all-nighter was starting to make him jittery and irritable.
Thirdly, he was getting frustrated with their lack of progress. He and Scotty, with the exception of maybe Spock, were the two most intelligent people on the ship. There was no reason why they should not have had this wrapped up by dinner last night.
And yet, here they were.
“I just don't understand,' Scotty mumbled. “Where could it be? I know it's close...”
“Eyes are going to fall out if we keep looking,” Chekov scowled.
“Let's take a wee break before we get on that.” The engineer stood and cracked his back in several places. “I have got to have something to eat before I faint.”
-----
McCoy was grabbing a sandwich from the cafeteria to take back with him to work when he realized Spock was in line in front of him. He grimaced and surveyed the area around him. There was a clear getaway path over by the soft-serve machine. Dimly wondering when the ship got one of those, he turned and tried very slowly to make his way out of the door.
“Ah, doctor,” the Vulcan called as he sat a bowl of plomeek soup on his tray.
Shit. “Oh, Spock. Didn't see you there.” He got back in line. “Soup's looking especially...chunky today.”
Spock inspected the soup. It indeed had large chunks of plomeek in it. He raised an eyebrow. “The Captain appears to be in good spirits. I trust things are going well.”
Not that again. “I don't know how many ways I can say 'none of your business' before you leave me alone.”
“As I have previously explained, doctor, anything...”
“That affects Jim is your business, I get it.” McCoy ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, things are fine. Just stay out of it, and tell Uhura to do the same.” He frowned. “That hug was really awkward.”
With that, he turned on his heel and left the mess hall.
As Spock ran his badge through the processor, he noticed a group of about twenty science officers sitting around a table with what appeared to be a very large roasted bird of some kind surrounded by many side dishes. He tapped a crew member on the shoulder.
“Ensign, from where did all of this come?”
“Oh hey, Commander.” He recognized her as Ensign Colt. “Me and the guys were talking about how sad we were to have to miss Thanksgiving this year and, well, the computers made this for us.” She smiled. “You're welcome to join too, there's plenty of vegetable dishes.”
“...No thank you.” Spock managed. He needed to report to the captain, as things were getting woefully out of hand. Before he could make his way back to the bridge, he saw Scotty and Chekov talking to Sulu. The youngest of the three appeared to be vibrating. Fascinating.
“Pavel, how many of those have you had?” he heard the pilot ask.
“Lost track at three,” Chekov sighed. “Worked all night. Is hard work and we can't stop until done.”
Sulu looked moderately horrified. “Well, just be careful and drink some water too, okay? They're bad for your kidneys.”
“Ensign, Lieutenant Commander.” Spock decided to make himself known. “I believe the timetable should be moved up for having the ship repaired. The more things like this---” He gestured to where the science staff were currently saying their blessing. “---Happen, the more I fear for both our food supply as well as the integrity of the ship's computer. It was not designed for such functions and operating outside of its normal parameters may have long term and detrimental effects.”
Montgomery blinked. “Spock, we still aren't sure what we're up against. Whatever it is, I can say it's very advanced. Getting rid of it is going to take some time.”
As if on cue, Ensign Richards from engineering came running into the cafeteria. “Medic,” she screamed. “We have a man down at the roller rink, repeat Ensign DuMais is down!”
Spock looked back at the three men he was speaking with. Sulu merely looked worried, while Scotty had hung his head in resignation. Chekov appeared to be...was he angry? How illogical.
“All we wanted was break,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Indeed.” Spock, naturally, did not see the point in sympathizing. “I suggest you both return to work immediately. There may soon be other casualties.”
“Yes sir,” the pair grumbled as they made their way to the doors.
Sulu had knit his eyebrows together. “They could have eaten their lunch, you know. It's not that urgent and they'd probably work better. They haven't even slept.”
“Your logic is sound, Lieutenant, however at the rate ship resources are being used I don't believe we can afford them the time. I will, however, relieve myself from my normal duties to lend assistance once I speak with Captain Kirk. I do posses a significant amount of experience with such tasks.”
Sulu nodded. “Well good luck when you do. It seems like you guys need it.”
-----
Kirk was running to his quarters to change when he smacked right into someone without looking. The person dropped the folders in their arms and fell onto the ground with the force of impact.
“Oh god, I'm sorry I...” He leaned down to help them pick up their belongings.
“How's the reading?”
It was then he realized he had run right smack into Lieutenant Uhura.
“Oh it's going swimmingly,” he smiled. “I know more about their planet than they do.”
“Indeed?” Spock was really rubbing off on her. Oh wow that was a gross mental image. “In lieu of a clergy, what do they have?”
“...um...I know this.” He thought he did, anyways, he had read half the brief. Well...okay. He had skimmed it. But he had skimmed it diligently! “I really have no idea.”
Uhura frowned. “Captain.” Oh no, not that tone of voice. It was like the first day with Nero all over again.
“All right, I'll make sure I go over it in more detail first thing in the morning,” he promised.
The frown turned into a scowl. “You said you would make the effort this time.”
“And I am! Honestly! I just can't right now.”
Her scowl turned into a glower.
“Look, I'd love to stay and chat but I'm going to be late, Bones is waiting for me and...”
As if a switch had been thrown, her expression changed from one of annoyance to one of interest.
“Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry, here I can get those.” She grabbed the folders out of his hands.
“How's that going?”
Kirk shook his head. “Uh-uh, Lieutenant. That is between the good doctor and myself.”
“Fair enough,” she smiled. “Well? What are you waiting for? Hurry up don't be late! Come on!” She pushed him to his door and he started to laugh as he put in his security code.
“Have a good night!” He grinned as he stepped into his quarters.
Uhura shook her head. He was off the hook for now, but come morning he was going to be in for it if he wasn't reading that dossier with rapt attention.
-----
Yeoman Thomas joined Yeoman Moore on deck five. Both of the women were dressed in jeans.
Neither of them were sure at all how they had done it, but there it was.
Sure it was mechanical and really more of a horse, but who cared? Everyone on the ship's inner six year old was dying of joy at that moment.
They had a pony.
-----
Later that evening, Jim and Leonard found themselves sitting in the same exact place as the night before. This time the picnic basket held a selection of sandwiches and a six pack of Romulan ale. Date number two was coming along just as uneventful and well as date number one.
Leonard lay on his back with his eyes closed and just let himself go. It wasn't often that he felt like he could really let his guard down, but he couldn't help it right then.
In spite of everything happening on the ship, including Ensign Du Mais's broken nose, the doctor found he was in a really good mood. It was the best he had felt...well truthfully, it was the best he had felt since well before the divorce.
It was probably the alcohol. He was sure it had nothing to do with Jim.
“I have to admit, my crew's really surprising me with this whole ship thing,” the captain said randomly.
Bones opened one eye. “With what, their propensity for getting hurt in new and exciting ways? I'm not surprised. After all, you're their captain. You've set the example.”
It was hard to tell in the dim lighting, but he was pretty sure Jim had rolled his eyes. “I meant with their creativity. The roller rink is something I'd have never come up with, that's for sure.”
“That's because you have common sense.”
Jim turned his head to look at him. “Have you ever had a day of fun in your whole life?”
“Once, when I was seventeen,” the doctor deadpanned. “It ended with me losing the family home in a fire.”
Jim stared.
Bones couldn't help but burst out laughing. “I'm fucking with you.”
The captain was trying really hard to keep a straight face. “Shut up.”
“Oh Jim, your face...”
“Shut up, I said.” There was no malice behind the words, Jim was laughing too.
They lay facing each other laughing for a quite a while. When they finally calmed down, Bones felt something. It was in his stomach, almost like...but no, that wouldn't be possible. Not wanting to think about it further, he cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the window.
Jim suddenly sat up. “Hey I've got an idea. Let's pack this up, I want you to see something.”
-----
By Scotty's count, Chekov had to have been well into the double-digits on the energy drinks. If it wasn't so terrifying, it would have been impressive. He furiously scribbled equation after equation on a PADD, erasing things deemed unusable.
Scotty was busy tinkering with the mainframe of the ship's computer, his head buried underneath it.
“It still not registering to our scans?”
“Nyet.” Chekov shook his head even though Scotty couldn't see it. “It appears to hide in different part of operating system each time we scan. Like it knows we're looking.”
“Of course it does.” Scotty unearthed himself. “It would be far too easy the other way.”
“Whoever did this, I hate.” Chekov grumbled. “I hate them so much. Another night with no sleep and for what?”
“I know what you mean,” Scotty sighed. “I just don't get why we can't catch a sodding break. I've been staring at this so long, I feel like my eyeballs are going to fall out of my head.”
“I may be of assistance, Mr. Scott.” Commander Spock stood in the doorway with his hands behind his back. “If you could show me your notes on the subject, I can begin assisting you immediately.”
Scotty and Chekov looked at one another.
“With all due respect, Spock,” Scotty started. “If I can't find it, and Chekov can't find it, I highly doubt that you'll fare any differently. We're not exactly amateurs at this, you know.”
“I may be able to see something that you simply were not able to notice.” Spock raised his eyebrow. “I excelled in all of my computing classes at Starfleet Academy, and I did program the Kobayashi Maru simulation for four years.”
Chekov's eyes narrowed at the Vulcan. He didn't particularly care for having his skills questioned and that's what it sounded like Spock was doing.
Apparently, Scotty agreed. “Oh well, by all means.” He made a huge sweeping gesture to his chair. “Have a seat and knock yourself out.”
Spock was puzzled. “I do not understand. Making myself fall unconscious would only be counter-productive.”
Scotty rolled his eyes. “Just sit down and show us on how supposedly you're better at this than we are.”
-----
“Jim?”
“Yeah?”
When Jim had said for them to pack up and go somewhere else, he hadn't imagined he meant here. “Why are we on the water deck?”
Jim smiled. “Because it's closed and we can be alone.”
He looked around the room. Apart from their voices, the only sound was the water running in the lazy river. They were in fact the only two people there. “This place closes?”
Jim pointed to the sign by the door.
WATERPARK ENTERPRISE HOURS OF OPERATION 10:00 – 21:00
RULES
-No running
-No shoes
-No roughhousing
-No line cutting – everyone will get a turn
-If you don't use profanity, you won't offend anyone
-For the love of God, no Marco Polo
-Everything is at the lifeguards' discretion, so don't make them mad
Inquire about our birthday packages!
“Told you my crew was good. They've worked life-guarding into the security staff schedule already and no one's gotten hurt here. Everyone's been really good about following the rules. All things considered, this place is a nice diversion for them.”
Bones made a non-committal sound as he looked around above him. The slides looked okay but they were probably none too sturdy. Best not to use those until he could bribe Scotty into making some extra supports or something.
“You know, Lieutenant Heron came to me about starting a roller derby league.”
“Great, that won't clog up sick bay at all.” He could just picture all of the contusions now.
“I told her no.”
That caught his attention. “You what?”
“I told her no. There's having fun and there's asking for trouble. Contrary to popular belief, I do know the difference.” He shrugged. “I don't need your staff stuck with patching all of those girls up when there's actual work to be done. And there's no way I can requisition thirty helmets without someone at Starfleet catching wind of what's going on. ”
“...Thanks.” There was that feeling again, right there inside him. It kept happening more and more as the evening progressed. Ignoring it, he moved to examine the lazy river more in depth.“How deep is this thing anyways?”
Jim shrugged. “Not sure, probably two and a half, three feet. I haven't even gotten to try any of this out. I've been so busy, but Spock is helping Accents R Us now so this wishing business should stop soon. It kinda bothers me to have to get rid of this though, everyone really likes it.” His tone turned teasing. “Well, everyone but you.”
“I don't dislike it, exactly.” Bones found he felt oddly defensive. “I just don't trust people not to kill themselves.”
“Right.” Jim naturally was unconvinced. “Then why haven't you tried it out yet? Wait, no, let me guess. You're a doctor, not a synchronized swimmer!”
“Is that really how I sound?” He knelt down by the water, making sure not to get too close to the edge.
“Hm?”
Bones shrugged. “No one's ever used that against me before. It makes me sound a bit condescending.”
“You can't seriously be worried about that after all this time.”
“Who said I was worried?” He shrugged. “I just didn't ever listen to myself.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“Thanks for finally admitting it.” He stuck his left hand in the water. It was surprisingly warm, almost like a bath. Maybe he wouldn't use the slides, but the lazy river seemed promising.
Jim shook his head with a bemused smile. “Bones, you know what?”
“What?” That was when he felt a pair of hands fall on his shoulders. Oh God.
“You have got to...” Jim shoved. “...Lighten up!”
And with a large splash, down Leonard went into the water. Slowly he stood, spitting out the water he had gotten in his mouth. He also made a note to vaccinate himself before bed.
Jim, naturally, was doubled-over with laughter. Oh well that wasn't going to do at all, was it? Bones quickly hunched over as if he was in pain and put his hand over his eyes.
“Dammit Jim, that's not funny.” The laughter died immediately.
“Oh God, Bones, I'm sorry, here let me...” Reaching out his hand to help him, Jim could not see the smirk on his friend's features. It caused him to be too slow to react when Leonard pulled him into the water.
“Idiot.” He blew the wet hair out of his face with a smirk. Jim sat up in the water, sputtering and coughing. Bones offered him a hand up and he eyed it warily. Eventually he decided it was safe and he let himself be pulled into standing, although not without splashing the doctor on the way up. Bones rolled his eyes and kicked some water back at him.
“What's gotten into you?” Jim grinned.
“What do you mean?”
“Well you're just...you're goofing off. I don't think I've ever seen you do that before. It's always 'Dammit Jim' this and 'I'm not your one phone call' that.” He shook his head. “Not that I don't like you the other way, but it's nice.”
That was when he noticed two things.
The first was that the weird flipping feeling in his stomach wasn't going anywhere; it had, in fact taken up a permanent residence. Almost like he was giddy, which was ridiculous because...well it just was.
The second was that they were still holding hands.
He dropped Jim's hand like it was on fire and tried not to notice the contented look on the captain's face. Bones looked to the door of the deck. “We should probably call it a night, it's late and I'm not getting sick because of you.”
“Sure, Bones.” Just that quickly, the smug expression was gone. “I'll walk you.”
-----
Despite the late hour, Nyota Uhura found herself carrying a tray from the mess hall with two cups of coffee and a mug of tea. Spock had indicated that they would be working well into the night, so she figured the least she could do was give them something to keep them going.
Humming to herself as she entered the engineering bay, she passed a man in a blue uniform that she didn't recognize. She nodded to him, and kept on her way when she stopped just short of the door.
She found herself staring at him as he passed, a frown forming on her face. There was something about him, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Deciding it wasn't really important, she knocked on the door. Without waiting for a reply, she went into the computer room.
“I have found absolutely nothing in the operating code to support such a change in the programming directives of this vessel. There appears to be no reason for the change.” Spock looked up at the other two. “The ship should not be granting these wishes and yet it obviously is.”
“Oh really?” Scotty said with a smug look on his face. “I can't imagine.”
“This is hardly the time for gloating, Mr. Scott.” In a rare show of fatigue, Spock sat back against his chair. “If we do not find a way to reverse this soon, there could be disastrous effects on the ship. People have already become injured as a result of the changes made. It is merely a matter of time before we exhaust resources and damage the Enterprise beyond repair.”
Uhura cleared her throat. “Coffee, guys.” She handed Spock the tea without a word. “You really think this could destroy the ship?”
“It could actually,” Scotty took his mug with a nod of thanks. “I mean, all the materials making things like the roller rink have to be coming from somewhere. Conservation of mass and all of that.”
Chekov took his coffee with shaking hands. Maybe she should have brought him milk or quaaludes instead. “Where is it coming from, anyways?”
Spock gathered his thoughts. “It can only logically be from our reserve stores of equipment.”
Uhura nodded. “You mean the tricorders and things.”
“Medical equipment as well I'd bet,” Scotty rubbed his chin. “Which means either we find a way to put it all back or Kirk makes the biggest requisition request in the history of the Starfleet. Pretty sure that wouldn't go over with the brass.”
“There is also matter of the general level of mania currently plaguing our personnel.”
Scotty didn't even look up from where he was going through system code once more. “Mania? It's like bleeding Spring Break up there.”
“At least half of our ship's staff are currently behaving as if they are on...'Spring Break,' as you say.” Spock looked as if just saying those words together were making him ill. “Although I admit I find it fascinating that productivity and efficiency are actually somewhat improving.”
“Well it is always nice to have a break,” Uhura smiled. “These things the ship's making are giving people outlets for their stress. They're not as frustrated working because they can go blow off steam after they're done. Plus you have to remember, we're the youngest crew in Starfleet; I think our median age is twenty-four. Young people like to have fun.” She shrugged.
“It could easily become a real distraction though,” the engineer said. “I mean don't get me wrong, on Delta Vega I'd have killed for this and I'm honestly a little annoyed I don't get to use it now. But if people start abandoning their posts for a limbo contest it'll be disastrous.”
“Um...” The trio looked at Chekov, who appeared rather troubled.
“Yeah, laddie?”
“How would you break spring?”
Somewhat embarrassingly, it took them all a moment to realize what he meant.
“No Pavel, Spring Break,” Uhura smiled. “Remember at the Academy in the spring semester when we'd get a week off from classes and everyone would go party? That's Spring Break.”
“Oh.” Pavel thought for a moment. “I never knew it had name, just knew cliff diving was fun.”
No one quite knew what to say to that.
“Right,” Scotty eyed Chekov warily as he opened yet another Red Bull. “The ultimate point is, we still can't find it. If it's somehow a virus or a bug, it's left no trace. Which is impossible.”
“Wish we could just see what is going on.” Chekov sighed.
At that, the monitors all lit up and a section of flashing code appeared right before their eyes. The three men all read the code together, Chekov and Scotty quickly growing annoyed. Spock seemed mildly relieved.
“That's it?” Scotty looked at the screen as if it had personally betrayed him. “That was all we had to do?”
“Yeah that seems, I don't know, really obvious,” Uhura said.
“Trying not to think of that,” Chekov muttered.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Scotty was furious.
“Lieutenant Commander,” Spock interrupted. “This outburst will not solve anything.”
“It'll make me feel better, Spock.” Scotty sat back down and placed his head in his hands for a moment. “All right, fine.” He cracked his knuckles.
“That's my cue.” As Nyota stood, she smoothed out a wrinkle in her uniform skirt. “I'm heading back to quarters. Good night Pavel, Scotty.” She smiled at Spock. “See you in a bit.” At that she took her leave.
“Okey dokey, let's get to it. The sooner we fix this, the sooner we can get some rest.” Scotty promptly pulled the code up in his system administrator window and typed in an override.
Nothing happened.
He tried another.
Nothing happened.
He tried five more overrides, each more high-security than the last.
Nothing happened.
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps if I were to attempt?”
He would have rolled his eyes, but Scotty was honestly too confused. “Sure.” He and Spock traded places at the console. Spock quickly typed in one of his personal override commands.
Nothing happened.
They stared at the screen together for a moment before Chekov finally spoke.
“This is not funny any longer.”
To be continued...
Chapter Two | Chapter Four
Series: Star Trek Star Trek Starrrr Treekkkkk...Reboot verse, specifically.
Rating: PG/PG-13ish. There's swearing, but other than that it's okay.
Summary: The Enterprise comes down with a bug. Jim decides to show Bones that they're meant to be. These two things are related.
Pairings: Jim/Bones, Spock/Uhura, mentions of previous Jim/Rand and Jim/Chekov (YOU READ THAT RIGHT)
Disclaimers: Totally do not own anyone in this. It's purely for entertainment value, so please JJ Abrams and Paramount and people who handle Gene Roddenberry's estate, please be nice.
Notes: For the purposes of this fanfic, replicator technology exists. I suggest if that's going to bug you a lot that you shouldn't read it. Also, this is a romantic-comedy/crackfic that somehow evolved into sixty-three pages of I don't even know what.
When last we left off, the Enterprise had turned into a theme park, Bones and Jim went on a date, Chekov was freebasing Red Bull, and Sulu rightfully thought everyone else was nuts.
Captain Kirk stepped onto observation deck two, now affectionately referred to as the water deck.
During the course of the night and into the morning, the slide had turned into several tube slides and an open one. That in turn had begotten a wave pool. Which had also in turn bore a lazy river.
There was now a full-on water park on the second deck of the USS Enterprise.
The security staff had scheduled rotas for life guarding. There were inner tubes and a tiki bar. He didn't really know how it was physically possible that the ship built this or how it wasn't killing their water supply. He didn't know how no one had gotten injured here either.
He just knew it was the most awesome thing in the history of ever.
Granted, Bones and Spock were both right. It was somewhat dangerous and he didn't want to think about where all the water would slosh if they got attacked. But he couldn't deny how much more relaxed and happy his crew was with a way to divert their stress. They all looked like they were having such a good time here, it really bothered him to have to take it away.
Maybe he could wish for a rubber floor.
True to their word, Chekov and Scotty had stayed up all night and then some in order to try and stop the virus. At this point, Chekov was on his fifth Red Bull while Scotty was purely running on adrenaline.
If he was being honest with himself, Scotty was more exhilarated than anything else. It had been a long time since he had been challenged in any real way by anything. Sure when the ship would be having some sort of crisis, he would have to think on his feet to save them all. But that was usually reversing a polarity here or ejecting a warp core there. It was so fast that he didn't get a chance to enjoy it and he didn't have to worry since his math was always right.
The problem was that there was no real variety of challenge.
So this bug or virus was making him happy, in an odd way. Sure he was pissed that someone on the ship decided to mess with his girl's programming. Who wouldn't be?
The fact that he got to really work on something hard for once...well it wasn't exactly unwelcome.
Chekov, on the other hand, was growing more irritable as time went on. Firstly, he didn't do well with no sleep. He was lucky as he had always been smart enough where he didn't need to pull any all-nighters, even at the Academy. As such, sleep deprivation tended to hit him harder than most of the other senior officers.
Secondly, the caffeine was disagreeing with him. He tended to stay away from it as a general rule because he was excitable enough naturally. All of the excess caffeine he was taking in to pull off said all-nighter was starting to make him jittery and irritable.
Thirdly, he was getting frustrated with their lack of progress. He and Scotty, with the exception of maybe Spock, were the two most intelligent people on the ship. There was no reason why they should not have had this wrapped up by dinner last night.
And yet, here they were.
“I just don't understand,' Scotty mumbled. “Where could it be? I know it's close...”
“Eyes are going to fall out if we keep looking,” Chekov scowled.
“Let's take a wee break before we get on that.” The engineer stood and cracked his back in several places. “I have got to have something to eat before I faint.”
McCoy was grabbing a sandwich from the cafeteria to take back with him to work when he realized Spock was in line in front of him. He grimaced and surveyed the area around him. There was a clear getaway path over by the soft-serve machine. Dimly wondering when the ship got one of those, he turned and tried very slowly to make his way out of the door.
“Ah, doctor,” the Vulcan called as he sat a bowl of plomeek soup on his tray.
Shit. “Oh, Spock. Didn't see you there.” He got back in line. “Soup's looking especially...chunky today.”
Spock inspected the soup. It indeed had large chunks of plomeek in it. He raised an eyebrow. “The Captain appears to be in good spirits. I trust things are going well.”
Not that again. “I don't know how many ways I can say 'none of your business' before you leave me alone.”
“As I have previously explained, doctor, anything...”
“That affects Jim is your business, I get it.” McCoy ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, things are fine. Just stay out of it, and tell Uhura to do the same.” He frowned. “That hug was really awkward.”
With that, he turned on his heel and left the mess hall.
As Spock ran his badge through the processor, he noticed a group of about twenty science officers sitting around a table with what appeared to be a very large roasted bird of some kind surrounded by many side dishes. He tapped a crew member on the shoulder.
“Ensign, from where did all of this come?”
“Oh hey, Commander.” He recognized her as Ensign Colt. “Me and the guys were talking about how sad we were to have to miss Thanksgiving this year and, well, the computers made this for us.” She smiled. “You're welcome to join too, there's plenty of vegetable dishes.”
“...No thank you.” Spock managed. He needed to report to the captain, as things were getting woefully out of hand. Before he could make his way back to the bridge, he saw Scotty and Chekov talking to Sulu. The youngest of the three appeared to be vibrating. Fascinating.
“Pavel, how many of those have you had?” he heard the pilot ask.
“Lost track at three,” Chekov sighed. “Worked all night. Is hard work and we can't stop until done.”
Sulu looked moderately horrified. “Well, just be careful and drink some water too, okay? They're bad for your kidneys.”
“Ensign, Lieutenant Commander.” Spock decided to make himself known. “I believe the timetable should be moved up for having the ship repaired. The more things like this---” He gestured to where the science staff were currently saying their blessing. “---Happen, the more I fear for both our food supply as well as the integrity of the ship's computer. It was not designed for such functions and operating outside of its normal parameters may have long term and detrimental effects.”
Montgomery blinked. “Spock, we still aren't sure what we're up against. Whatever it is, I can say it's very advanced. Getting rid of it is going to take some time.”
As if on cue, Ensign Richards from engineering came running into the cafeteria. “Medic,” she screamed. “We have a man down at the roller rink, repeat Ensign DuMais is down!”
Spock looked back at the three men he was speaking with. Sulu merely looked worried, while Scotty had hung his head in resignation. Chekov appeared to be...was he angry? How illogical.
“All we wanted was break,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Indeed.” Spock, naturally, did not see the point in sympathizing. “I suggest you both return to work immediately. There may soon be other casualties.”
“Yes sir,” the pair grumbled as they made their way to the doors.
Sulu had knit his eyebrows together. “They could have eaten their lunch, you know. It's not that urgent and they'd probably work better. They haven't even slept.”
“Your logic is sound, Lieutenant, however at the rate ship resources are being used I don't believe we can afford them the time. I will, however, relieve myself from my normal duties to lend assistance once I speak with Captain Kirk. I do posses a significant amount of experience with such tasks.”
Sulu nodded. “Well good luck when you do. It seems like you guys need it.”
Kirk was running to his quarters to change when he smacked right into someone without looking. The person dropped the folders in their arms and fell onto the ground with the force of impact.
“Oh god, I'm sorry I...” He leaned down to help them pick up their belongings.
“How's the reading?”
It was then he realized he had run right smack into Lieutenant Uhura.
“Oh it's going swimmingly,” he smiled. “I know more about their planet than they do.”
“Indeed?” Spock was really rubbing off on her. Oh wow that was a gross mental image. “In lieu of a clergy, what do they have?”
“...um...I know this.” He thought he did, anyways, he had read half the brief. Well...okay. He had skimmed it. But he had skimmed it diligently! “I really have no idea.”
Uhura frowned. “Captain.” Oh no, not that tone of voice. It was like the first day with Nero all over again.
“All right, I'll make sure I go over it in more detail first thing in the morning,” he promised.
The frown turned into a scowl. “You said you would make the effort this time.”
“And I am! Honestly! I just can't right now.”
Her scowl turned into a glower.
“Look, I'd love to stay and chat but I'm going to be late, Bones is waiting for me and...”
As if a switch had been thrown, her expression changed from one of annoyance to one of interest.
“Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry, here I can get those.” She grabbed the folders out of his hands.
“How's that going?”
Kirk shook his head. “Uh-uh, Lieutenant. That is between the good doctor and myself.”
“Fair enough,” she smiled. “Well? What are you waiting for? Hurry up don't be late! Come on!” She pushed him to his door and he started to laugh as he put in his security code.
“Have a good night!” He grinned as he stepped into his quarters.
Uhura shook her head. He was off the hook for now, but come morning he was going to be in for it if he wasn't reading that dossier with rapt attention.
Yeoman Thomas joined Yeoman Moore on deck five. Both of the women were dressed in jeans.
Neither of them were sure at all how they had done it, but there it was.
Sure it was mechanical and really more of a horse, but who cared? Everyone on the ship's inner six year old was dying of joy at that moment.
They had a pony.
Later that evening, Jim and Leonard found themselves sitting in the same exact place as the night before. This time the picnic basket held a selection of sandwiches and a six pack of Romulan ale. Date number two was coming along just as uneventful and well as date number one.
Leonard lay on his back with his eyes closed and just let himself go. It wasn't often that he felt like he could really let his guard down, but he couldn't help it right then.
In spite of everything happening on the ship, including Ensign Du Mais's broken nose, the doctor found he was in a really good mood. It was the best he had felt...well truthfully, it was the best he had felt since well before the divorce.
It was probably the alcohol. He was sure it had nothing to do with Jim.
“I have to admit, my crew's really surprising me with this whole ship thing,” the captain said randomly.
Bones opened one eye. “With what, their propensity for getting hurt in new and exciting ways? I'm not surprised. After all, you're their captain. You've set the example.”
It was hard to tell in the dim lighting, but he was pretty sure Jim had rolled his eyes. “I meant with their creativity. The roller rink is something I'd have never come up with, that's for sure.”
“That's because you have common sense.”
Jim turned his head to look at him. “Have you ever had a day of fun in your whole life?”
“Once, when I was seventeen,” the doctor deadpanned. “It ended with me losing the family home in a fire.”
Jim stared.
Bones couldn't help but burst out laughing. “I'm fucking with you.”
The captain was trying really hard to keep a straight face. “Shut up.”
“Oh Jim, your face...”
“Shut up, I said.” There was no malice behind the words, Jim was laughing too.
They lay facing each other laughing for a quite a while. When they finally calmed down, Bones felt something. It was in his stomach, almost like...but no, that wouldn't be possible. Not wanting to think about it further, he cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the window.
Jim suddenly sat up. “Hey I've got an idea. Let's pack this up, I want you to see something.”
By Scotty's count, Chekov had to have been well into the double-digits on the energy drinks. If it wasn't so terrifying, it would have been impressive. He furiously scribbled equation after equation on a PADD, erasing things deemed unusable.
Scotty was busy tinkering with the mainframe of the ship's computer, his head buried underneath it.
“It still not registering to our scans?”
“Nyet.” Chekov shook his head even though Scotty couldn't see it. “It appears to hide in different part of operating system each time we scan. Like it knows we're looking.”
“Of course it does.” Scotty unearthed himself. “It would be far too easy the other way.”
“Whoever did this, I hate.” Chekov grumbled. “I hate them so much. Another night with no sleep and for what?”
“I know what you mean,” Scotty sighed. “I just don't get why we can't catch a sodding break. I've been staring at this so long, I feel like my eyeballs are going to fall out of my head.”
“I may be of assistance, Mr. Scott.” Commander Spock stood in the doorway with his hands behind his back. “If you could show me your notes on the subject, I can begin assisting you immediately.”
Scotty and Chekov looked at one another.
“With all due respect, Spock,” Scotty started. “If I can't find it, and Chekov can't find it, I highly doubt that you'll fare any differently. We're not exactly amateurs at this, you know.”
“I may be able to see something that you simply were not able to notice.” Spock raised his eyebrow. “I excelled in all of my computing classes at Starfleet Academy, and I did program the Kobayashi Maru simulation for four years.”
Chekov's eyes narrowed at the Vulcan. He didn't particularly care for having his skills questioned and that's what it sounded like Spock was doing.
Apparently, Scotty agreed. “Oh well, by all means.” He made a huge sweeping gesture to his chair. “Have a seat and knock yourself out.”
Spock was puzzled. “I do not understand. Making myself fall unconscious would only be counter-productive.”
Scotty rolled his eyes. “Just sit down and show us on how supposedly you're better at this than we are.”
“Jim?”
“Yeah?”
When Jim had said for them to pack up and go somewhere else, he hadn't imagined he meant here. “Why are we on the water deck?”
Jim smiled. “Because it's closed and we can be alone.”
He looked around the room. Apart from their voices, the only sound was the water running in the lazy river. They were in fact the only two people there. “This place closes?”
Jim pointed to the sign by the door.
RULES
-No running
-No shoes
-No roughhousing
-No line cutting – everyone will get a turn
-If you don't use profanity, you won't offend anyone
-For the love of God, no Marco Polo
-Everything is at the lifeguards' discretion, so don't make them mad
Inquire about our birthday packages!
“Told you my crew was good. They've worked life-guarding into the security staff schedule already and no one's gotten hurt here. Everyone's been really good about following the rules. All things considered, this place is a nice diversion for them.”
Bones made a non-committal sound as he looked around above him. The slides looked okay but they were probably none too sturdy. Best not to use those until he could bribe Scotty into making some extra supports or something.
“You know, Lieutenant Heron came to me about starting a roller derby league.”
“Great, that won't clog up sick bay at all.” He could just picture all of the contusions now.
“I told her no.”
That caught his attention. “You what?”
“I told her no. There's having fun and there's asking for trouble. Contrary to popular belief, I do know the difference.” He shrugged. “I don't need your staff stuck with patching all of those girls up when there's actual work to be done. And there's no way I can requisition thirty helmets without someone at Starfleet catching wind of what's going on. ”
“...Thanks.” There was that feeling again, right there inside him. It kept happening more and more as the evening progressed. Ignoring it, he moved to examine the lazy river more in depth.“How deep is this thing anyways?”
Jim shrugged. “Not sure, probably two and a half, three feet. I haven't even gotten to try any of this out. I've been so busy, but Spock is helping Accents R Us now so this wishing business should stop soon. It kinda bothers me to have to get rid of this though, everyone really likes it.” His tone turned teasing. “Well, everyone but you.”
“I don't dislike it, exactly.” Bones found he felt oddly defensive. “I just don't trust people not to kill themselves.”
“Right.” Jim naturally was unconvinced. “Then why haven't you tried it out yet? Wait, no, let me guess. You're a doctor, not a synchronized swimmer!”
“Is that really how I sound?” He knelt down by the water, making sure not to get too close to the edge.
“Hm?”
Bones shrugged. “No one's ever used that against me before. It makes me sound a bit condescending.”
“You can't seriously be worried about that after all this time.”
“Who said I was worried?” He shrugged. “I just didn't ever listen to myself.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“Thanks for finally admitting it.” He stuck his left hand in the water. It was surprisingly warm, almost like a bath. Maybe he wouldn't use the slides, but the lazy river seemed promising.
Jim shook his head with a bemused smile. “Bones, you know what?”
“What?” That was when he felt a pair of hands fall on his shoulders. Oh God.
“You have got to...” Jim shoved. “...Lighten up!”
And with a large splash, down Leonard went into the water. Slowly he stood, spitting out the water he had gotten in his mouth. He also made a note to vaccinate himself before bed.
Jim, naturally, was doubled-over with laughter. Oh well that wasn't going to do at all, was it? Bones quickly hunched over as if he was in pain and put his hand over his eyes.
“Dammit Jim, that's not funny.” The laughter died immediately.
“Oh God, Bones, I'm sorry, here let me...” Reaching out his hand to help him, Jim could not see the smirk on his friend's features. It caused him to be too slow to react when Leonard pulled him into the water.
“Idiot.” He blew the wet hair out of his face with a smirk. Jim sat up in the water, sputtering and coughing. Bones offered him a hand up and he eyed it warily. Eventually he decided it was safe and he let himself be pulled into standing, although not without splashing the doctor on the way up. Bones rolled his eyes and kicked some water back at him.
“What's gotten into you?” Jim grinned.
“What do you mean?”
“Well you're just...you're goofing off. I don't think I've ever seen you do that before. It's always 'Dammit Jim' this and 'I'm not your one phone call' that.” He shook his head. “Not that I don't like you the other way, but it's nice.”
That was when he noticed two things.
The first was that the weird flipping feeling in his stomach wasn't going anywhere; it had, in fact taken up a permanent residence. Almost like he was giddy, which was ridiculous because...well it just was.
The second was that they were still holding hands.
He dropped Jim's hand like it was on fire and tried not to notice the contented look on the captain's face. Bones looked to the door of the deck. “We should probably call it a night, it's late and I'm not getting sick because of you.”
“Sure, Bones.” Just that quickly, the smug expression was gone. “I'll walk you.”
Despite the late hour, Nyota Uhura found herself carrying a tray from the mess hall with two cups of coffee and a mug of tea. Spock had indicated that they would be working well into the night, so she figured the least she could do was give them something to keep them going.
Humming to herself as she entered the engineering bay, she passed a man in a blue uniform that she didn't recognize. She nodded to him, and kept on her way when she stopped just short of the door.
She found herself staring at him as he passed, a frown forming on her face. There was something about him, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Deciding it wasn't really important, she knocked on the door. Without waiting for a reply, she went into the computer room.
“I have found absolutely nothing in the operating code to support such a change in the programming directives of this vessel. There appears to be no reason for the change.” Spock looked up at the other two. “The ship should not be granting these wishes and yet it obviously is.”
“Oh really?” Scotty said with a smug look on his face. “I can't imagine.”
“This is hardly the time for gloating, Mr. Scott.” In a rare show of fatigue, Spock sat back against his chair. “If we do not find a way to reverse this soon, there could be disastrous effects on the ship. People have already become injured as a result of the changes made. It is merely a matter of time before we exhaust resources and damage the Enterprise beyond repair.”
Uhura cleared her throat. “Coffee, guys.” She handed Spock the tea without a word. “You really think this could destroy the ship?”
“It could actually,” Scotty took his mug with a nod of thanks. “I mean, all the materials making things like the roller rink have to be coming from somewhere. Conservation of mass and all of that.”
Chekov took his coffee with shaking hands. Maybe she should have brought him milk or quaaludes instead. “Where is it coming from, anyways?”
Spock gathered his thoughts. “It can only logically be from our reserve stores of equipment.”
Uhura nodded. “You mean the tricorders and things.”
“Medical equipment as well I'd bet,” Scotty rubbed his chin. “Which means either we find a way to put it all back or Kirk makes the biggest requisition request in the history of the Starfleet. Pretty sure that wouldn't go over with the brass.”
“There is also matter of the general level of mania currently plaguing our personnel.”
Scotty didn't even look up from where he was going through system code once more. “Mania? It's like bleeding Spring Break up there.”
“At least half of our ship's staff are currently behaving as if they are on...'Spring Break,' as you say.” Spock looked as if just saying those words together were making him ill. “Although I admit I find it fascinating that productivity and efficiency are actually somewhat improving.”
“Well it is always nice to have a break,” Uhura smiled. “These things the ship's making are giving people outlets for their stress. They're not as frustrated working because they can go blow off steam after they're done. Plus you have to remember, we're the youngest crew in Starfleet; I think our median age is twenty-four. Young people like to have fun.” She shrugged.
“It could easily become a real distraction though,” the engineer said. “I mean don't get me wrong, on Delta Vega I'd have killed for this and I'm honestly a little annoyed I don't get to use it now. But if people start abandoning their posts for a limbo contest it'll be disastrous.”
“Um...” The trio looked at Chekov, who appeared rather troubled.
“Yeah, laddie?”
“How would you break spring?”
Somewhat embarrassingly, it took them all a moment to realize what he meant.
“No Pavel, Spring Break,” Uhura smiled. “Remember at the Academy in the spring semester when we'd get a week off from classes and everyone would go party? That's Spring Break.”
“Oh.” Pavel thought for a moment. “I never knew it had name, just knew cliff diving was fun.”
No one quite knew what to say to that.
“Right,” Scotty eyed Chekov warily as he opened yet another Red Bull. “The ultimate point is, we still can't find it. If it's somehow a virus or a bug, it's left no trace. Which is impossible.”
“Wish we could just see what is going on.” Chekov sighed.
At that, the monitors all lit up and a section of flashing code appeared right before their eyes. The three men all read the code together, Chekov and Scotty quickly growing annoyed. Spock seemed mildly relieved.
“That's it?” Scotty looked at the screen as if it had personally betrayed him. “That was all we had to do?”
“Yeah that seems, I don't know, really obvious,” Uhura said.
“Trying not to think of that,” Chekov muttered.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Scotty was furious.
“Lieutenant Commander,” Spock interrupted. “This outburst will not solve anything.”
“It'll make me feel better, Spock.” Scotty sat back down and placed his head in his hands for a moment. “All right, fine.” He cracked his knuckles.
“That's my cue.” As Nyota stood, she smoothed out a wrinkle in her uniform skirt. “I'm heading back to quarters. Good night Pavel, Scotty.” She smiled at Spock. “See you in a bit.” At that she took her leave.
“Okey dokey, let's get to it. The sooner we fix this, the sooner we can get some rest.” Scotty promptly pulled the code up in his system administrator window and typed in an override.
Nothing happened.
He tried another.
Nothing happened.
He tried five more overrides, each more high-security than the last.
Nothing happened.
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps if I were to attempt?”
He would have rolled his eyes, but Scotty was honestly too confused. “Sure.” He and Spock traded places at the console. Spock quickly typed in one of his personal override commands.
Nothing happened.
They stared at the screen together for a moment before Chekov finally spoke.
“This is not funny any longer.”
To be continued...
Chapter Two | Chapter Four
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:18 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:19 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:39 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 05:43 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 06:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 06:45 am (UTC)From:Thanks for reading, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 07:46 am (UTC)From:I don't really think there's anything else that can be said really. Because they have a pony.
ilu so much ;_;
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 09:29 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 11:46 am (UTC)From:And I love Jim not wanting to requisition roller derby helmets. I can so see him rolling his eyes as he says no.
Also-- Accents R Us? Snorted my hot coffee, but it was worth it.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 09:28 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 01:24 pm (UTC)From:this and Accents R Us - so good!
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Date: 2009-08-09 09:03 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 01:43 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 09:02 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 07:23 pm (UTC)From:♥ I'm excited to see how Jim and Bones work out:)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 09:01 pm (UTC)From:Thank you very much for reading! Part four will be posted tonight.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 11:08 pm (UTC)From:seriously, that's all i got.
besides: n'aw, boooooooooooooooooooooones ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 11:21 pm (UTC)From:Bones is ridiculous in many ways. As you'll see now that part four is up.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-10 02:41 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-10 02:47 am (UTC)From:I'm glad you found those funny, they made me laugh to write them. ^_^
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Date: 2009-08-10 06:04 am (UTC)From:omg poor Scotty and Chekov! that was WAY too simple.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-10 06:11 am (UTC)From:It was and unfortunately, the cure is not nearly as easy.
Thanks for sticking with it!
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Date: 2010-07-22 06:28 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 06:16 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-03-26 05:48 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-03-26 07:46 pm (UTC)From:Thanks for reading it!