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Title: To the End (La Comédie)
Series: Star Trek XI (as if I write for anything else these days): water park 'verse
Rating: PG-13/R for some violence, swearing, and fade-to-black sexy stuff
Summary: You are cordially invited to the Starfleet social function of the year. That is, assuming these terrorists and the Enterprise Crew's own issues don't get in the way.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with the characters featured in Star Trek or the Star Trek movie from 2009. No harm was meant, so put the lawyers away, man.
Chapter notes: “La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid,” is the original French for the phrase “revenge is a dish best served cold.” Yes, that was originally French. Fun fact: it has been first attributed to Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos in Les Liaisons Dangereuses. However, no one can really back that up. Sorry Tarantino, it’s French, not Klingon.
You know, it occurs to me that I never told you guys who I cast as my Chapel. In my head, she’s played by Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski. She’s incredibly hot, but, more importantly, every week she lays the smack down as a covert C.I.A op. She is totally my head!Chapel.
Did you know the Federation has no Geneva Convention? I know this, because I researched that shit for days. There is, however, Article 14 Section 31 that gives Starfleet officers the rights to essentially throw the rulebook out the window in “extraordinary circumstances.” There is no official wording for what this entails, believe me, I’ve looked. But that is the Article 14 Jim and Julien reference in this story. And yes this is another fic where I had to google everything ever for. Someday I’ll be able to write without research again. Today? Is not that day.
I feel I should warn you guys that I have literally four pages of just author's notes for this story. I don't have a final word count yet, as I'm still working on Chapter Six, but man when I do I'll post it. Suffice to say, it's long.
Leonard McCoy was quiet as he walked through the quarters he shared with Jim early the next morning. Predictably, he arrived the previous evening after he was asleep and their schedules were such that he needed to be up before him as well. He sat a mug on the nightstand near the tufts of blond hair that stuck up over the blankets.
“Jim,” he said softly. He reached out and, as gently as he could, shook the captain's shoulder. “It's time to get up.”
“Five minutes,” was mumbled as the covers were pulled up even higher. Bones gave him a fond look.
“There's coffee.”
The covers were pulled down a bit and Jim peaked out for a moment. “...Two minutes.”
Bones snorted. He sat on the edge of the mattress by Jim's knees, placing a hand on his side. “Come on.”
At this, he finally, grudgingly, sat up. His hair was sticking up at several angles and he rubbed one eye absently. “I don't get it. You got in after me and you're up earlier. But you're totally awake.” He reached for the coffee and took a sip.
“Medical school,” Bones began, “is nothing if not an exercise in working through sleep deprivation.”
Jim took another sip of his coffee. “You mean it's an exercise in how much caffeine you can intake before your heart stops.”
“That varies from person to person and weight plays a factor. We did trials.”
“Of course.” Jim took another sip with a smile. “Sorry again about last night.”
Bones sighed. “I already told you not to apologize for that. It's not...”
“My fault, I know.” Jim sat the coffee back on the nightstand. “I can still be sorry it didn't go as planned. It was really going to be epic, you know?”
His face changed into a soft expression and he reached out to take Jim's hands in his. “It was.” Jim's own expression was full of love for a moment before a few shadows clouded his eyes. Bones raised an eyebrow, growing immediately concerned. “What's wrong?”
Jim shook his head. “No, it's nothing, we'll talk later. You'll be late.”
“I've got ten minutes before I have to leave,” Bones retorted. “Something's going on, just tell me what it is. You know how impatient I am.”
They stared at each other for a moment and Jim ducked his head down a little. Recognizing it as a sign that he won, Bones waited patiently for him to start talking.
“I talked to Pike last night. Apparently, there are some issues with my personal reputation and me being a famous starship captain.”
“What does your personal life have to do with your job?” Understandably, Bones looked annoyed.
“That's pretty much what I said. It has something to do with certain races and their perception of the Federation as good people.” He shrugged. “Anyways, Pike came up with an idea and it kind-of involves you.”
“Well, you know I'll do whatever I can to help. What do you need from me?”
The captain looked down at the green sheets, picking at one spot in particular. He took a deep breath before looking back up into Bones' eyes and answering with, “Marry me.”
Bones' face became blank. “Do what now?”
He winced. “I think I started with the wrong part. I mean...okay, yeah, Pike suggested we get married because that will show how serious I am about you. But...I mean, the more I think about it...” He looked off to the side for a moment with a smile. “It just feels right. I don't know...the thought of...of wearing a ring and calling you my husband...I like the way that makes me feel inside. I want to marry you, Bones.” Jim looked back at his lover and the smile fell off his face.
Bones was still staring blankly at him, not having moved a muscle.
“Okay, um, you need to say something because you didn't interrupt me like you usually do and now you're just staring and it's really freaking me out.”
He finally blinked a few times. “You want to get married because Pike told you it's how you can fix your image.”
“No,” Jim said furiously. “He made the suggestion and I told him I'd have to think about it, I didn't just go along with it. After thinking about it, I want to do it. I want to marry you not for any other reason than me being in love with you.”
There was another silence as Bones blinked again and Jim fidgeted.
“I don't...I never planned on this. On getting married again.”
“You never planned on dating again, either, if I remember right,” Jim said in a soft voice.
He sighed. “That's true, but...this is different, Jim. This is a lot bigger.”
“I don't think it is. We already said forever. This is just...the legal way to do that. It's just being official about it, is all.”
Bones shook his head. “It's not that simple. There's a lot that goes into planning a wedding, a lot of little legalities that have to be ironed out. There's contracts you have to sign, not to mention finding someone to officiate or getting witnesses...”
“You don't want to.”
“What?”
Jim couldn't meet his eyes anymore. He picked at the spot on the sheets again. “You don't want to marry me.”
“I didn't say that,” Bones explained. “I just...you dropped this on me with no warning, Jim. I'm not...I don't know what to say here. I'm not saying no, not exactly.”
“You're not saying yes, either.” He continued to pick at the sheets, his shoulders sagging somewhat. Bones rubbed his face with both hands.
“Look, I just need time. I need to think about it. Can I have that?” Jim still wouldn't look at him, but he didn't need to for Bones to know how hurt he was. “Please?”
“No, yeah, sure,” Jim said. “Take all the time in the world.”
Bones opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He watched Jim for a moment, his heart aching at how small and hurt he looked. He went to reach out to him, but thought better of it at the last moment.
“It's probably time for you to go.”
Bones glanced at the chronometer; he was a couple of minutes late. He sighed. “Yeah.” He stood up from the bed and looked down at Jim. “I love you.”
He didn't look up or smile, he simply nodded once and it made Bones' heart sink. Without another word, he made his way out of the bedroom and their quarters. Jim heard the front door close after him.
“Apparently not enough,” he whispered to himself.
-----
Pavel finished getting ready for his shift, pausing for a moment in the living area to adjust his right boot. The way his pants were tucked in was irritating him and he needed to fix it, lest it bother him during his shift.
He was going to be late for breakfast with Scotty if he didn't hurry, though.
As always, the thought of the chief engineer made feel warm and he smiled to himself. Scotty was one of the few people that really got him, so it was only natural that he had fallen for him. It was the first time he felt this way in a long time, not since Irina actually. They laughed a lot and helped each other with an ease that he didn't know was possible. He really, really cared for Scotty a lot.
Which was why he was being subtle and making moves similar to the ones the captain made with the doctor. They were really close friends and he did not wish to jeopardize that by moving too fast.
Even if he did know just how good they would be together.
He also had to admit that it was somewhat predictable. After all, he'd always had a thing for older men. That kind of thing, Pavel figured, was normal when you were a child prodigy and always a few years younger than your classmates. Girls he preferred to be the same age as him, but men he always wanted older.
Prestige aside, he exalted at the chance to work under Pike for a reason. He snickered to himself for a moment. Working under Pike, indeed. Sometimes he forgot how clever he could be.
He heard a door slide open and reflexively he glanced at it. He stopped and stared. Hikaru was exiting his bedroom, ostensibly to head to the mess like Pavel.
His stomach dropped down into his knees, all happy thoughts forgotten.
It was not as if the treatment he had given him for the past four months was undeserved. Quite the contrary, he deserved little more than scorn for his actions and he was aware of that fact.
That didn't make it any less painful.
Hikaru took a moment to adjust his tunic sleeves, a slight frown on his face. Eventually he sensed he was being watched and looked up. His eyes met Pavel's, a neutral look on his face.
Pavel waved.
It was not returned.
The two stared at each other for a time, and he slowly dropped his hand down by his side. Sulu began to make his way to their front door.
“Hika...Lieutenant Sulu?”
His roommate stopped and turned to look at him, still with that guarded expression.
“I apologize,” Pavel began. “I spoke harshly with you last evening on the bridge. Was uncalled for and I am sorry.”
The pilot inclined his head in a slight nod. “You don't have to apologize, we were under attack. It happens.” He shrugged. “I appreciate it, though.” With that, he turned and left their quarters.
Pavel found himself deflate at this. On the one hand, he was completely professional towards him and didn't use a colorful idiom for where he could stick his apology. On the other, he didn't offer one in return or really accept it.
At least he wasn't ignored completely, which he probably would have been even just a few weeks ago. Small progress was still progress, he supposed.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he too made his way out of their quarters.
-----
Marla McGivers scanned the crowd in the mess hall, looking for a place to sit. It took her a while, but she saw that a seat was open at Ricky's table. She wasn't particularly close with him, but she knew him fairly well from their time together at the academy. She began to walk over when she saw Kevin Riley sit down across from him. She didn't know Riley very well either, but the times they had spoken she found him to be nice, the same way everyone else in Starfleet was nice.
“Is it all right if I sit here?”
Ricky looked up at her with a smile. “Sure Marla. Hey Kevin, you know Marla right?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said with a smile. “Always nice to see you.”
She smiled and nodded in return.
“Anyways,” Ricky said, “Kirk's antsy about these jokers for some reason. He's got us watching them around the clock, especially their leader.”
Marla looked up from her pancakes. “I'm sorry, what's this?”
“You didn't hear?” He looked at her with wide eyes. “The people who attacked us last night are terrorists and we have a bunch of them in custody, including their leader. Like I said, Kirk's nervous about them, so we're all on a rotation guarding them. I've got to do it during beta shift.”
Riley shook his head a few times. “I don't know what they were expecting, attacking the Enterprise. We're the flag ship for a reason.”
She was listening with rapt attention. “Terrorists? What kind of terrorists?”
“They're Romulan sympathizers, anti-Federation douchebags,” Riley said as he buttered his toast. “Apparently they think the Federation is some sort of dictatorship, and they're trying to get it to disband. They attack a lot of ships, to send some sort of message or whatever.”
“Yeah pretty much,” Ricky said with a nod. “Although their leader seems nice enough, he was very polite about the whole thing. He just kept smiling while we locked him up. I don't blame Kirk for being suspicious, something's up with that guy.”
Riley nodded his agreement.
Marla, on the other hand, was completely fascinated. “This leader, what's he like?”
“His name's Julien. Accent pegs him as French, dresses like he's rich.” Ricky shrugged. “It's weird, his followers were all beside themselves that they couldn't be with him. It makes me think they're like a cult or something.”
“Wouldn't be the first time,” Kevin muttered darkly.
She brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Go on.”
“Anyways, we're going to turn them into the authorities when we dock at Earth. Starfleet wants this Julien guy to stand trial for what he's done.”
Marla's expression changed from interested to somewhat sad. “They're taking him to court?”
“Yeah. With the amount of damage this guy's caused, he's going to get the book thrown at him I bet.” Ricky drank his coffee. “He'll be lucky if he gets life, you know?”
“Sucks for him,” Riley said with a shrug. “Hey did you hear about Richards in engineering? She's getting a promotion.”
“Oh sweet,” he said. “She works pretty hard, so that's good to hear.”
The topic of conversation was changed, but Marla found she was still focusing on the terrorists. She was particularly fascinated by the thought of their leader. He didn't sound like a terrorist to her, he sounded more like a man with convictions. A man with a cause, which is more than she could say for a lot of the people in Starfleet.
As she slowly began to eat, she made a note to try to make time to go down to the brig. Perhaps see this Julien for herself.
-----
As usual, the bridge was filled with a quiet form of activity, everyone at their stations performing their duties with grace and precision. Spock found himself reviewing documents regarding the capture of their prisoners.
Well, reviewing as best as one can with a sharp pain behind his eyes.
Instead of going to the medical bay for treatment, he opted to go back to the quarters he shared with Nyota. For thirty minutes, he meditated and it appeared to have cured his headache. He felt immeasurably better and went back to the bridge, where he performed his duties at a higher efficiency rate than typical.
When he woke that morning, however, not only had the headache returned but it was even worse than it was previously. It was most frustrating indeed.
He sighed and rubbed his temples. Fortunately Nyota was on gamma shift that day and therefore was not present on the bridge to see him so stressed.
It was very unlike him and illogical to lie to her, but something about going to see Doctor McCoy regarding this ailment made him feel...uneasy. He was distinctly uncomfortable with the thought of being examined, as if he should keep this private. He couldn't really figure out what was making him react that way, which further cemented his belief that he should keep it to himself.
Spock closed his eyes for a moment as he deepened his breathing. Meditation exercises seemed to make the pain abate for a few hours here or there, and so he kept taking the time to do it when his head would ache. Breathe in, out, slowly. Just a few deep breaths and he was already feeling better. He opened his eyes and surveyed the bridge yet again.
They would be back on Earth in forty-eight hours. There was a Vulcan healer who worked not too far from Starfleet Headquarters. Perhaps he could consult with her if the pains still continued in that time.
For now, he continued to breathe.
-----
Around lunchtime, Hikaru Sulu made his way into the medical wing to pick his girlfriend up as he did every other day they were on shift at the same time. Geoffrey M’Benga was fiddling with one of the biobeds near the front entranceway, and he looked up at Hikaru with a smile.
“Hi Hikaru. Lunch time already?”
“Sure is,” he answered in a bright tone. Pausing to look around him for a moment, he looked back at Geoff with a curious expression.
“She’s in the back supply closet with Kowalski handling something for Leonard.”
“Oh sure,” he replied as he glanced toward McCoy’s office. Speaking of... “I should go say hi to him while I’m waiting.”
For some reason this made the smile leave Geoff’s face. “...I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now.”
The pilot looked at him again with a curious expression. “What makes you say that?”
Geoff gave a somewhat helpless shrug. “He came in all quiet this morning and just kind of delegated everyone into doing busywork, I guess so we’d leave him alone.”
“That’s not that unusual, you know how he gets. He’s just in one of his moods.”
“Maybe. This feels different though. He’d barely look at us and he hasn’t said so much as ten words to anyone, let alone snapped or complained. We’ve all just let him be because that’s obviously what he needs.”
Sulu clucked his tongue once. That wasn’t normal at all. He remembered a time about a year ago where McCoy was in a similar state. He got him through it by talking things out. Maybe he could try it again. “I think I’ll take my chances. If he tells me to back off, I’ll just come get Chris.”
Geoff nodded. “Sure. Good luck.” With that, he went back to the biobed, leaving Sulu to walk across the med bay and to McCoy’s door. After hesitating for a moment, he rang the entry bell.
“Come in,” said the doctor and wow, yeah he really did sound kind-of defeated. This may be worse than he thought. He slid the door open and stepped inside. “Just thought I’d say hi while I’m here.” He paused for a moment. “You don’t look so hot. Everything all right?”
Indeed, he didn’t look hot at all; he actually looked quite miserable. He kind-of half-shrugged for a moment. “I’m not sure I should say anything. It’s private.”
That ruled out everything except his relationship with the captain.
Uh oh.
“I see.” Sulu hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Well, I’ve been helpful in the past, but I also understand if this is something you can’t really talk about. It’s your call though, I’m good either way.”
He found he didn’t quite know how to continue the conversation, so he decided to just wait for either an invitation to sit or him being kicked out. McCoy silently regarded him for a long moment before he gestured at one of the chairs across his desk. Inwardly relieved at his success, he took the seat and waited.
“I probably don’t have to say this,” Leonard finally began, “but this doesn’t leave this room.”
Okay wow. This must be serious because normally when they talked there were no such caveats.
“Sure.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, wiping a hand down his face. “Okay.” Leonard swallowed once. Best to just come out with it. “Jim asked me to marry him.”
“What? That’s fantastic! I mean it’s a little surprising because of the timing, but it’s not a shock or...” he trailed off as he looked at the other man’s face. “...It was a shock to you, wasn’t it?”
“Putting it mildly,” he said in a dry-yet-sad tone. “Apparently, there are some problems with his image and Pike suggested we get married to lay them to rest.”
Oh.
“You think the only reason why he asked is because of Pike?”
“He admitted he’d never have thought to if not for this, yeah.”
“Yeah, but it’s also Jim you’re talking about here.” Sulu leaned forward in his chair. “Just because the idea wasn’t his doesn’t mean the actual question’s not. He doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. We both know if he didn’t genuinely want to spend his life with you, he wouldn’t ask.”
Rather uncharacteristically, McCoy looked down at his shirt sleeves. He began to pick at the hem of one of them, a nervous habit Sulu recognized as belonging to the captain. He did this for a while without looking up before finally speaking again.
“I’m not good at being a husband.”
“You didn’t think you were good at anything involving romance before Jim.”
“No, that’s...I mean, yes, that’s what I thought, that’s true. But, Sulu, I was really bad at being a husband.”
“How so?” Hikaru leaned forward in his chair, genuinely curious. The doctor never really opened up about his marriage before, not even really to Kirk. This could maybe help him suss out the problem.
“We only got married because Jocelyn got pregnant.”
That was unexpected.
“We’d only been together a little while, and it seemed like the right thing to do. Then Jo was born and things seemed better. They weren’t amazing, but they were good. Then...I don’t know. I realized it was a mistake after a couple of years, and I think she did too, but we’re both stubborn, and we never spoke to each other about our concerns.” He looked up again and Sulu was taken aback by just how much fear he saw in his eyes. “What if I make another mistake like that? What if it doesn’t work and we stay together even though we shouldn’t? I’ll lose everything, and I just can’t hurt him like that.”
Thinking very carefully before he spoke, Hikaru managed to put a reassuring look on his face.
“I think you worrying about this at all says that you’d do much better this time.”
The doctor didn’t look convinced.
“I mean, you just said you married her out of obligation. With Jim, you don’t have that. You have nothing but how you feel for him and how he feels for you. You’d both move heaven and earth for each other. You have one of the strongest partnerships I’ve ever seen. More to the point, you talk to each other about things.”
There was an awkward silence.
“I went overboard, didn’t I,” Hikaru said with a wince.
“Little bit, yeah.”
“Sorry.”
Bones shrugged. “It’s fine, you just sound like my Aunt Ginger.”
Hikaru winced a second time. “Anyway, my point is that you guys are solid. I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay.”
“But what if we’re not?”
“But what if you are?” Hikaru shrugged. “I mean I can’t tell you what to do. All I can tell you is that he loves you.” He glanced out the glass wall and spotted his girlfriend. She noticed him looking at her and waved to him with a grin. “You’re the only one who can decide if the risk is worth it.” He stood from his chair. “I’m sorry I can’t stay, I’ve got lunch plans. You can comm me if you need to talk more, okay?”
McCoy nodded. “I think I’m good, I just need a little more time to think. Thanks, Sulu. I just...thanks.”
The pilot smiled. “Hey, I should be thanking you for what you do for Christine.”
Leonard looked confused. “How’s that?”
“You know, with letting her get that practice at reading those lab results for when she can finish getting her MD last night.”
Both of his eyebrows raised at that. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. She doesn’t examine charts, and she wasn’t even here last night until we went on the yellow alert.”
A feeling of dread began to overtake Hikaru. If she wasn’t here then that meant she lied to him. Why? Why would she do that? “Oh. I must have...misheard her or something. It’s my mistake, sorry.”
“No problem.” The doctor didn’t quite smile, but he didn’t look so defeated either. That would have made Hikaru feel better but just...not right then. “Thanks again, Sulu. I mean it.”
“Anytime.” With a wave, he made his way out of the office and towards the front door, where Christine was waiting.
“Hey you,” she said with a bright smile, and in spite of the circumstances he felt his spirit lift a bit at that. “Ready?”
He opened his mouth for a moment then closed it. On the one hand, he didn’t want to pretend that things were okay. On the other, he had no idea how to ask her about this without being accusatory. It was probably best to wait before confronting her, just so he didn’t cause a scene.
But then again, it was more likely that it was nothing, or that he misunderstood her. Maybe she just wanted some time to herself and didn’t feel like arguing about it.
Still though, if there was anything he hated it was dishonesty. Being lied to for any reason had the potential for deal-breaking with him. Look at what happened between him and Pavel. There was no reason why she couldn’t have just told him that.
“I can’t after all. I think I’m getting a headache and I can’t really bail on the rest of my shift. I think I’ll just grab something light and take it in my quarters, if that’s okay.”
Christine frowned at him. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to grab a hypo for you right now? Or I could bring it to you...”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’ve got stuff in my quarters and I just think I should be alone and quiet.” Admittedly, he realized that two wrongs didn’t make a right, but she was acting like nothing had happened. She was acting normal, and she had lied to him. He just needed to calm down and think.
Alone.
The frown turned to flat out worry. “Okay. I’ll come by after work and check on you.”
He forced a smile he didn’t really feel on his face. “Sure. Sounds good. I’ll see you.”
Without so much as a kiss goodbye, he turned and left medical, leaving a worried and somewhat perplexed Nurse Chapel in his wake.
-----
Without preamble, Spock entered the captain’s ready room, keeping the door open behind him.
“It is time.”
“Do I have to? Because I’m really not fucking up for this. I mean, shouldn’t Cupcake or someone do this instead of me?” Jim Kirk looked imploringly at his first officer. “I mean, my patience is like gone, and I’ve been snapping at the yeomen.”
“While that is troublesome,” Spock grudgingly agreed, “de Maupassant needs to be interrogated before we hand him over to the Starfleet Police in two days. Per standard protocol, that duty befalls the captain as outlined in Article 30, section...”
“I know the code, Spock. Shit.” Jim sat down in his desk chair with a flounce. “I just hate everything right now, but especially that guy. He’s just so smug and self-possessed and just...something is completely wrong here. Can’t you feel it?”
“Deciding to ignore protocol because of one’s personal feelings is illogical,” Spock argued. “However, I must concede the point that this was, as you said, too easy. It would not surprise me if there is something that we are not seeing.”
Jim nodded. “Well, good, at least I’m not crazy. Though seriously, if he pulls that smug shit again I may just go ahead and beat his ass anyway. Article 14 and whatnot.”
“There is a thin energy barrier separating you from causing him physical harm,” Spock pointed out as he lightly gripped the bridge of his nose. This caused Jim to pull himself together for a moment and eye him with concern.
“You all right?”
“It is only a headache.”
“Have you taken anything? I’m sure Bo...someone in medical can fix you up.”
Spock shook his head. “It is not significant. I have been neglecting my meditation for several days now. Once I do that more regularly, I shall be fine.” He let go of his nose. “You are stalling.”
“I’m genuinely concerned because you don’t get headaches.”
Spock stared at him for moment.
“Fine, I’m stalling. Shut up.” He got up out of the chair. “Come on, we’re burning daylight.”
“I do not understand that idiom as daylight by its very nature is burning as it is a chemical reaction in a star’s...”
“Spock?”
“Yes?”
“Let it go.”
Spock stared at him for a moment. He obviously was not being facetious when he said he was in a bad mood. Wordlessly, he turned and they began to make their way down to the brig. It was tense, unusually so, and Spock found himself wondering exactly what happened to put the captain in such a state. He was about to ask when they found themselves at the doorway of their destination.
Oh well.
Jim somewhat angrily punched in the code and stepped through, Spock not too far behind him. They walked past the cells together and most of them were full of Aehallh members. As he specified, Julien de Maupassant sat in one by himself down at the end. He sat with his arms crossed and his eyes closed on the edge of the cot. Jim stood just in front of blue barrier of the cell door, also with his arms crossed. After a moment, de Maupassant sensed he was being watched and he opened his eyes.
“I was wondering when you would come to visit,” he said softly. “You have kept me waiting for quite a while, James.”
“Stop calling me that,” Jim snapped. “You keep acting like we’re friends. We’re not.”
“I am merely attempting to be civil.”
“You attacked my ship and you want civility? Are you kidding me?” Jim uncrossed his arms and glared at Julien. “You’re unbelievable.”
“One man’s opinion.” He stood and moved to stand close to the barrier without touching it. “Others disagree.”
“I’m not interested in how your sycophants feel about you. I’m honestly not interested in much you have to say.”
Julien made a disapproving noise with his tongue. “I am merely making a point that there is no need for us to be hostile to one another. You say we are not friends, I simply see no reason why that cannot change.”
Pointedly ignoring his words, Jim got as close the barrier as he could. “Why’d you do it? You’re not stupid, you know your ship was outclassed by us and that once the surprise wore off we’d have you nailed. So why come after us? Why come after any of the ships you’ve attacked? What was in it for you?”
Strangely enough, the man smiled at his question. He slowly placed both of his hands on either side of the doorway, leaning in as if he was a lover. He whispered his words when he finally spoke.
“La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid.”
Jim narrowed his eyes. “Now I know you’re messing with me. Revenge? I mean, that doesn’t even make sense. For what?”
“For your treatment of the Romulans. For your silencing of their plight and your habit of putting them down as if they were nothing. For your constant enforcement of your misguided ideals and despicable so-called morals. The Federation doesn’t want peace, it wants power. It wants slaves. It will have those slaves through the guise of peacekeeping measures. You all play as if you are superior because of your exalted Prime Directive deeming cultures unacceptable if they have no technology you can pilfer. It’s shameful.”
“You’re disgusting,” Jim spat. “You stand here and lecture me on the failings of the Federation, when you run around attacking innocent civilians to what? Try to prove some point?”
“I did what I had to do to show the Federation’s hand. It was all to demonstrate you are nothing better than the people you claim to be against and strike down in the name of your supposed righteousness. Considering the rigidity and unfair dogma the Federation preaches, I cannot say that I was surprised at someone striking against you so, as Nero did.”
Spock stiffened at this.
Jim, however, snarled. “You’re insane. You’re absolutely, completely insane if you think that what Nero did was in any way deserved.”
“I said no such thing. I said it was not a surprise,” Julien said as he smiled. “No one deserves to have their home destroyed, not out of anger or out of simple bureaucratic inaction. I simply cannot blame him for feeling strongly about the situation, and I think the lack of compassion your Federation has categorically shown the Romulan Empire since is deplorable.”
Spock’s eyes actually widened and Jim’s face flushed with anger. He gently pulled him a little away from the cell. “You okay,” he whispered to the Vulcan.
After closing his eyes for a moment, Spock turned to him with a carefully neutral expression. “Not particularly,” he whispered back, “Displaying my anger solves nothing. However, I believe it would be logical to defer all further conversation to you.”
“Fair enough,” he said. They made their way back to the cell and a somewhat smug de Maupassant. “You’re a miserable piece of shit.”
“Captain...” Spock interrupted as he held up his right hand as a signal to let it go. He made no further attempts to interrupt him.
“Such language,” Julien scolded. “I have only addressed you with the utmost respect. It is a shame you feel you cannot give me the same treatment in kind.”
“Just play straight with me. What’s your angle?”
“Angle? I believe I have explained...”
“You want me to think you’ve explained. You want me to believe you’ve told me everything. You also think by throwing around what happened to Vulcan you’ll throw the two of us off-balance so that we won’t put it together. You say you’re familiar with me, and yet you’re underestimating my intelligence.” It was Jim’s turn to smile, although it was cold and humorless. “You think I’m not onto you, you think I don’t see that there’s something more going on here. You think you’re playing me.”
Julien shook his head. “How could I possibly play you? I’m trapped in a cell, awaiting transfer to a military prison to answer for my theoretical crimes. You’ve isolated me from my supporters. My ship is crippled and being held in your tractor beam. You did not even let me keep the cufflinks that have been passed down in my family for generations or my shoes.” With a sigh, he made his way back to the cot and sat down. “I do not understand what more you would like from me, James, other than me outright speaking the words you have won.”
Grudgingly, Jim had to admit he had a point. The evidence was lacking for him to be so accusatory. It was cut-and-dry from the outside. Maybe most of it was his frustration with Bones, but still...
Something wasn’tl right.
“I’m going to ask you one more time; why? Why orchestrate all of this instead of going through the proper channels to champion your cause?”
Julien shrugged one shoulder. “Sometimes one has to shout to be heard. That is all.”
“You wish us to believe that everything you have done is simply to get a message across,” Spock replied, having obviously regained his footing. “That is illogical, as people are more open to changing their minds without provocation or hostility.”
Jim looked at Spock, who was watching de Maupassant carefully. His gaze was somewhat shuttered and he couldn’t tell if it was from the headache or if he was still concealing his outrage at the mention of the destruction of Vulcan. He looked back at the terrorist, who was still sitting implacable before him.
“It is what it is,” he said. “It is the choice I made. I did not feel I could afford the time to try navigating through proper channels, I believe strongly that things must be changed now. As previously stated, I did what I had to do for my cause. It is unfortunate that there was collateral damage, but such a thing is seldom avoidable.”
Jim looked at Spock a second time, and this time he met his gaze. They looked at each other for a long moment before the whistle of a communicator sounded.
Terrific.
Realizing it was his, Jim grabbed it from his waist and stepped away to answer it. He paused and looked back at the cell. Julien was still sitting neatly on his cot while Spock said something to him. He was just far enough away he couldn’t quite make out the conversation, but he did see that Julien was answering politely.
“Kirk here, go ahead.”
“Captain, it’s Doctor M’Benga. We’ve got the results of the scans on the Aehallh members you asked for. They’re ready whenever you are down here in sickbay.”
Jim sighed. Going to sickbay meant seeing Bones and he was so not ready for that. “Can’t you just tell me over the comm?”
It was Geoff’s turn to sigh. “Medical Code states that...”
“I know, I know, you can’t,” Jim interrupted. “I was being rhetorical. I’ll be down in a few, Kirk out.” He closed the communicator and turned his attention back to Spock and Julien. After walking back over, he tapped Spock on the shoulder. “I need to head down to medical. I’m going to call Cupcake to get a security officer here so you can keep doing what you’re doing.”
Spock nodded. “Agreed.”
Jim frowned as he opened his communicator back up.
He was pretty sure he wasn’t up for this, but it was all part of the job.
-----
Montgomery Scott waited in line at the mess hell for a sandwich. He hadn’t eaten yet today and was frankly starving.
A nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he was supposed to have breakfast that morning with Pavel. He quickly squashed it and put it to the side.
Okay, so he might have possibly panicked when he woke up that morning and remembered he was to meet Pavel for breakfast, before pacing frantically around his quarters, taking two showers, having a triple of whiskey, and then deciding not to go. He changed and went straight to engineering without looking back.
Although, he did feel terrible about standing Pavel up. He just wasn’t sure he could face him after his giant epiphany of terror and doom from the night before.
He had feelings for Pavel.
He had strong feelings for Pavel, actually, and it was kind-of amazing that he hadn’t noticed it. It was so easy and so natural to fall for him, they shared a lot in terms of things like basic personality and their world views. They were both brilliant. The things they had talked about building together were unparalleled.
But...Scotty was thirty-eight years old. Pavel was about to turn twenty and could probably have anyone he wanted. He’d even been with the Captain! He’d seen the holos of his former girlfriend, Irina, also and wow, she was a stunner. He should be with someone young and gorgeous like he was. Not an old pub crawling engineer.
He realized it was cowardly to just bail on him like that, but he honestly wasn’t sure how to face him. If the captain, doctor, and Richards had all noticed, then he must be incredibly obvious. What would he do if Pavel were to figure it out, assuming he hadn’t already? He didn’t think he’d do something unkind but he’d most certainly get rejected. He pretty obviously only thought of Scotty as a friend.
Even worse, what if he was only nice to him out of pity?
A nagging voice in the back of his mind pointed out that friends don’t generally orchestrate fancy picnics for each other, or spend every moment of their off time coming to visit people while they worked, even out of pity, but he pushed it aside and grabbed his sandwich.
It was inappropriate.
He just wasn’t a suitable partner for Pavel, not much how much he cared for him. Which, hey, it stung a little to know that but facts were facts.
“Where were you this morning? I waited and you did not show.”
Bugger.
“Oh, hi Pavel.” He turned around and there he was with a confused expression. “There was just...the dilithium crystals needed recalibration and I just...forgot. I’m sorry, I should have messaged you.”
Pavel’s face softened at this. “Is all right. These things, they happen. You can make it up to me with lunch.” He grinned.
“Well, actually,” Scotty began. “I’ve got to work through my lunch too. The damages from the attack won’t repair themselves and we need to be ready for the upgrades when we get to Earth.”
The navigator frowned. “Well, all right. Dinner then.”
Careful to not look at him, Scotty shook his head. “No, I’ll be working late in the ‘tubes. Today’s just...not good, Pavel.” He began to make his way out of the mess hall. “I’m sorry.”
He really was. He knew it wasn’t exactly fair to ditch him like that, but he just had absolutely no idea how to talk to him. He needed to think.
If he had turned around though, he would have seen the hurt look on Pavel’s face.
----
Jim hesitated for a moment before heading into the medical wing, making sure to school his features into a carefully neutral expression. He was greeted inside by the sight of Bones discussing something with Geoff. It made him stop for a moment as he hovered just inside of the sick bay door.
Yeah, he really wasn’t ready for it.
Seeing Bones was like a punch to the throat delivered by an angry bear that shot bees from its mouth, and Jim was allergic to bees. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of his rejection.
Granted, Bones hadn’t said no, not exactly. But he hadn’t said yes, either, and knowing him a no was way more likely given his reservations.
And it wasn’t like they weren’t real or anything, either. Jim didn’t know much about Jocelyn or their marriage, but he knew it did a real number on him. They had been divorced for going on five years and only just recently had they begun to speak amicably, partly because of Jim pointing out that Jo deserved having two parents not napalming each other when in the same room together.
Jim understood all of this, and he definitely understood how random the whole proposal thing seemed, especially with the way he opened the conversation.
It still hurt, worse than just about anything he ever felt before.
He knew Bones loved him, he just...he guessed he thought he loved him enough to set aside his fears. The revelation that he didn’t...well, it stung.
Maybe he was failing somehow in their relationship that Bones didn’t feel safe with him, but he honestly couldn’t see where he was making a mistake. He clearly was though, if Bones didn’t want to marry him, if Bones didn’t feel the same way.
He sighed out loud.
Whatever. He had other things to worry about that took precedence over his relationship drama. Without another thought, he made his way over to Geoff and Bones.
“So,” he began. “What’s up, Docs?”
Geoff smiled and Bones gave him a look that was a cross between worried and professional. “Captain, we’ve got the results of the scans you ordered.”
“I gathered,” he snapped, and he couldn’t help but feel a little triumphant over the fact that Bones winced. “Sorry, I mean...what’s up?”
The two doctors looked at each other for a moment before Bones finally began to speak. “They all came back clear. No biohazards, nothing even on a molecular level.”
“Really?” Jim had to admit he was a bit surprised.
“Some of them are passing around a cold, but other than that they’re all clear,” Geoff said with a shrug. “Even de Maupassant. Apart from traces from some old injuries, he’s in perfect shape.”
Huh.
Well, shit. There went that theory. This wasn’t enough to make him relax about Julien or his little league of flunkies, although it was a bit of a relief that his crew was not in any immediate danger from any biological threats.
For a moment he thought about Spock and his headache. He made a note to order him down to medical, just to play it safe.
“All right then,” he finally said. “If that’s all, I’ll be heading back to the brig.”
“Actually,” Bones began. “There is something, if you’ve got a minute.” Geoff looked back and forth between the two of them. He noticed the stiffness of Jim’s posture and the somewhat fearful look on Bones’ face.
“Well, I’m uncomfortable,” he said in a cheery tone. “I’ll be...checking the vaccines to make sure they still...exist. Or something.” With that, he was off with a sheepish smile.
A feeling of dread began to wash over Jim before he squashed it. He swallowed.
“I’m not sure I do.” It was kind of petty, and immature, but just...not then. He just couldn’t right then.
“Please, Jim,” he said and wow, he was begging. A small part of Jim couldn’t help but feel a little good at that. “Just a minute in my office. I promise I’ll let you go after that.”
The most frustrating part about everything was the fact that, even though Bones could say no to him...he couldn’t say no to Bones.
“Fine. One minute.” He turned and made his way to Bones’ office without looking back to make certain he was following. He opened the door and crossed the room to pace behind the desk. Bones quickly entered and both shut and locked the door behind him.
“Well? Go ahead. Get it over with.” He continued to pace.
Bones stood by the door with his back resting against it. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes back up and he watched Jim move. His right hand came up and extended outwards as he said the word, “Yes.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “I don’t really have time for games, Bones, just go ahead and...” Slowly he stopped pacing and turned to face him. “Yes?”
Bones seemed to calm a little her began to smile a little. “Yes.”
As a broad grin formed on his face, Jim felt himself become about ten times lighter. Bones was going to marry him! “You...we’re...”
“Yeah, we are.” Bones turned more serious for a moment. “I don’t want a long engagement though, I want to do it while we’re on Earth so Jo can come. I realize that’s not really any kind of notice but...”
“No, no I wouldn’t....I wouldn’t want it any other way either! We can do it the day after we get back, though it’ll probably have to be in San Francisco. We’ll have to delay going to Hawaii by a couple of days, but now that can be our honeymoon. I just...I can’t...” Something occurred to him then and his face fell a little. “I don’t have a ring for you.”
Bones waved a hand. “We don’t need that bullshit, Jim, the wedding bands will do just fine.”
“The way I asked you was terrible,” Jim kept going on his tangent. “I can’t fix the ring part, but I can fix that.” He walked over to where Bones was standing and slowly got down onto one knee.
“What are you doing,” Bones hissed.
“Leonard Horatio McCoy,” Jim began very solemnly. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you honor me by giving me your hand in marriage?”
For some reason, Bones’ face was bright red and he started to kind-of pull on his shoulders. “Jim, get off the floor.”
Jim ignored him and tried asking again. “Will you marry me, Bones?”
“Get off the damn floor!”
He just shook his head with a grin. “Marry me, Bones.”
Glaring down at him, Bones retorted with, “I’m not saying yes again until you get up off the floor.”
“Well, I’m not getting up off the floor until you say yes,” Jim shot back.
They stared at each other for a while, neither of them budging. Finally, Bones slumped a little.
“Fine, dammit, yes. You happy? Now get up, asshole.” Jim obliged and reached out towards him. Bones grudgingly met him halfway and he pulled him into a long, deep kiss.
That was when the cheering and applause thundered throughout sick bay. Bones grimaced just as Jim broke the kiss and looked out through the glass wall they were standing in front of. The entirety of the med bay staff were hooting, cheering, and clapping for them. Even Chapel.
“I uh...I forgot about the windows.”
“You don’t say.”
“That’s why you wanted me off the floor, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is.”
“Shit.” Jim ducked his face down into his shoulder. “There’s only one thing to do.” Without so much as another word, he managed to dip Bones in his arms. The doctor flailed a little in surprise and began to swear profusely. “May as well give ‘em what they want.”
He then leaned down and planted a long, deep kiss on his mouth. Bones continued to flail a little but quickly relaxed as he brought his hands up to cup Jim’s face. The cheering grew much louder, although at this point Chapel was rolling her eyes as she went back to her work.
And if three of the nurses took a picture and sent it to the all hands list with the caption of “guess who’s getting hitched, y’all,” well...who could blame them?
-----
When her shift was over, Marla made her way down to the brig. She had her toolkit in her right arm so if anyone asked why she was there she could claim to be working. Being on the engineering staff meant she had the access codes to almost all areas of the ship, so getting in wasn’t a question. She punched the buttons and quietly made her way inside.
The Aelhallh members sat in their cells, some of them sleeping. Most of them were talking quietly to one another. A few still were eating the rations that had been brought down to them by security. They looked cramped and uncomfortable, which she supposed was typical for prisoners.
A few of them looked up at her as she passed and she smiled at them. They smiled back, obviously relieved at the presence of a friendly face. Her heart went out to them.
She glanced up ahead and noticed that one man was alone. He was also being interrogated by Commander Spock and Lieutenant Anderson. That was odd, where was the captain?
The PADD strapped to her belt vibrated. She decided to play it safe and duck behind a wall just out of view of the First Officer and Security Chief. Wondering who would possibly be messaging her right then, she pulled up the message on her PADD.
It was a picture of the captain and the chief medical officer kissing and the caption said that they just became engaged.
Marla deleted the message with a disgusted noise in the back of her throat.
This was ridiculous.
The captain was off sucking face with his boyfriend, instead of being here to do his job. He should be taking care of his duties, not romancing Doctor McCoy! The worst part was, if she pointed out how hypocritical that was she would get reamed out. God forbid you express any opinion different from the majority. How typical of Starfleet.
She turned a little bit from the corner and watched. Spock and Anderson seemed to be wrapping things up, which meant they’d be leaving soon. As she took a deep breath, they began to leave the brig. Anderson tapped the security officer who was posted by the door on the shoulder in a sign of solidarity. The officer smiled at him before going back to her reading.
Perfect.
Marla made her way over to the cell Spock and Anderson were just near. The man inside was laying on his cot with his eyes closed. She studied his features for a moment and her heart skipped a little. He was very handsome. She mentally sketched him in her mind, noting the angle of his nose and the shape of his brow.
Gathering up her nerves, she cleared her throat. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to disturb you.”
The man, de Maupassant she recalled, slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her. Quickly assuming the role of a gentleman, he stood and walked over to her, careful not to get too close to her. “I must admit, this is a surprise, although not an unwelcome one.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but notice how nice it looked on him, how sweet his eyes were. “I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”
“My name is Lieutenant Marla McGivers. I’m the ship historian on board the Enterprise.”
“Ah. I am Julien de Maupassant. Enchanté.” He bowed a little and she couldn’t help but blush in response. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were being treated okay, Monsieur de Maupassant.”
“Julien, please.”
“Julien?”
“Yes, if you do not mind,” his smile became wider. “Friends call each other by their given names, and I believe that you and I shall become good friends.”
Marla smiled back.
Chapter One | Chapter Three A
Series: Star Trek XI (as if I write for anything else these days): water park 'verse
Rating: PG-13/R for some violence, swearing, and fade-to-black sexy stuff
Summary: You are cordially invited to the Starfleet social function of the year. That is, assuming these terrorists and the Enterprise Crew's own issues don't get in the way.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with the characters featured in Star Trek or the Star Trek movie from 2009. No harm was meant, so put the lawyers away, man.
Chapter notes: “La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid,” is the original French for the phrase “revenge is a dish best served cold.” Yes, that was originally French. Fun fact: it has been first attributed to Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos in Les Liaisons Dangereuses. However, no one can really back that up. Sorry Tarantino, it’s French, not Klingon.
You know, it occurs to me that I never told you guys who I cast as my Chapel. In my head, she’s played by Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski. She’s incredibly hot, but, more importantly, every week she lays the smack down as a covert C.I.A op. She is totally my head!Chapel.
Did you know the Federation has no Geneva Convention? I know this, because I researched that shit for days. There is, however, Article 14 Section 31 that gives Starfleet officers the rights to essentially throw the rulebook out the window in “extraordinary circumstances.” There is no official wording for what this entails, believe me, I’ve looked. But that is the Article 14 Jim and Julien reference in this story. And yes this is another fic where I had to google everything ever for. Someday I’ll be able to write without research again. Today? Is not that day.
I feel I should warn you guys that I have literally four pages of just author's notes for this story. I don't have a final word count yet, as I'm still working on Chapter Six, but man when I do I'll post it. Suffice to say, it's long.
Leonard McCoy was quiet as he walked through the quarters he shared with Jim early the next morning. Predictably, he arrived the previous evening after he was asleep and their schedules were such that he needed to be up before him as well. He sat a mug on the nightstand near the tufts of blond hair that stuck up over the blankets.
“Jim,” he said softly. He reached out and, as gently as he could, shook the captain's shoulder. “It's time to get up.”
“Five minutes,” was mumbled as the covers were pulled up even higher. Bones gave him a fond look.
“There's coffee.”
The covers were pulled down a bit and Jim peaked out for a moment. “...Two minutes.”
Bones snorted. He sat on the edge of the mattress by Jim's knees, placing a hand on his side. “Come on.”
At this, he finally, grudgingly, sat up. His hair was sticking up at several angles and he rubbed one eye absently. “I don't get it. You got in after me and you're up earlier. But you're totally awake.” He reached for the coffee and took a sip.
“Medical school,” Bones began, “is nothing if not an exercise in working through sleep deprivation.”
Jim took another sip of his coffee. “You mean it's an exercise in how much caffeine you can intake before your heart stops.”
“That varies from person to person and weight plays a factor. We did trials.”
“Of course.” Jim took another sip with a smile. “Sorry again about last night.”
Bones sighed. “I already told you not to apologize for that. It's not...”
“My fault, I know.” Jim sat the coffee back on the nightstand. “I can still be sorry it didn't go as planned. It was really going to be epic, you know?”
His face changed into a soft expression and he reached out to take Jim's hands in his. “It was.” Jim's own expression was full of love for a moment before a few shadows clouded his eyes. Bones raised an eyebrow, growing immediately concerned. “What's wrong?”
Jim shook his head. “No, it's nothing, we'll talk later. You'll be late.”
“I've got ten minutes before I have to leave,” Bones retorted. “Something's going on, just tell me what it is. You know how impatient I am.”
They stared at each other for a moment and Jim ducked his head down a little. Recognizing it as a sign that he won, Bones waited patiently for him to start talking.
“I talked to Pike last night. Apparently, there are some issues with my personal reputation and me being a famous starship captain.”
“What does your personal life have to do with your job?” Understandably, Bones looked annoyed.
“That's pretty much what I said. It has something to do with certain races and their perception of the Federation as good people.” He shrugged. “Anyways, Pike came up with an idea and it kind-of involves you.”
“Well, you know I'll do whatever I can to help. What do you need from me?”
The captain looked down at the green sheets, picking at one spot in particular. He took a deep breath before looking back up into Bones' eyes and answering with, “Marry me.”
Bones' face became blank. “Do what now?”
He winced. “I think I started with the wrong part. I mean...okay, yeah, Pike suggested we get married because that will show how serious I am about you. But...I mean, the more I think about it...” He looked off to the side for a moment with a smile. “It just feels right. I don't know...the thought of...of wearing a ring and calling you my husband...I like the way that makes me feel inside. I want to marry you, Bones.” Jim looked back at his lover and the smile fell off his face.
Bones was still staring blankly at him, not having moved a muscle.
“Okay, um, you need to say something because you didn't interrupt me like you usually do and now you're just staring and it's really freaking me out.”
He finally blinked a few times. “You want to get married because Pike told you it's how you can fix your image.”
“No,” Jim said furiously. “He made the suggestion and I told him I'd have to think about it, I didn't just go along with it. After thinking about it, I want to do it. I want to marry you not for any other reason than me being in love with you.”
There was another silence as Bones blinked again and Jim fidgeted.
“I don't...I never planned on this. On getting married again.”
“You never planned on dating again, either, if I remember right,” Jim said in a soft voice.
He sighed. “That's true, but...this is different, Jim. This is a lot bigger.”
“I don't think it is. We already said forever. This is just...the legal way to do that. It's just being official about it, is all.”
Bones shook his head. “It's not that simple. There's a lot that goes into planning a wedding, a lot of little legalities that have to be ironed out. There's contracts you have to sign, not to mention finding someone to officiate or getting witnesses...”
“You don't want to.”
“What?”
Jim couldn't meet his eyes anymore. He picked at the spot on the sheets again. “You don't want to marry me.”
“I didn't say that,” Bones explained. “I just...you dropped this on me with no warning, Jim. I'm not...I don't know what to say here. I'm not saying no, not exactly.”
“You're not saying yes, either.” He continued to pick at the sheets, his shoulders sagging somewhat. Bones rubbed his face with both hands.
“Look, I just need time. I need to think about it. Can I have that?” Jim still wouldn't look at him, but he didn't need to for Bones to know how hurt he was. “Please?”
“No, yeah, sure,” Jim said. “Take all the time in the world.”
Bones opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He watched Jim for a moment, his heart aching at how small and hurt he looked. He went to reach out to him, but thought better of it at the last moment.
“It's probably time for you to go.”
Bones glanced at the chronometer; he was a couple of minutes late. He sighed. “Yeah.” He stood up from the bed and looked down at Jim. “I love you.”
He didn't look up or smile, he simply nodded once and it made Bones' heart sink. Without another word, he made his way out of the bedroom and their quarters. Jim heard the front door close after him.
“Apparently not enough,” he whispered to himself.
Pavel finished getting ready for his shift, pausing for a moment in the living area to adjust his right boot. The way his pants were tucked in was irritating him and he needed to fix it, lest it bother him during his shift.
He was going to be late for breakfast with Scotty if he didn't hurry, though.
As always, the thought of the chief engineer made feel warm and he smiled to himself. Scotty was one of the few people that really got him, so it was only natural that he had fallen for him. It was the first time he felt this way in a long time, not since Irina actually. They laughed a lot and helped each other with an ease that he didn't know was possible. He really, really cared for Scotty a lot.
Which was why he was being subtle and making moves similar to the ones the captain made with the doctor. They were really close friends and he did not wish to jeopardize that by moving too fast.
Even if he did know just how good they would be together.
He also had to admit that it was somewhat predictable. After all, he'd always had a thing for older men. That kind of thing, Pavel figured, was normal when you were a child prodigy and always a few years younger than your classmates. Girls he preferred to be the same age as him, but men he always wanted older.
Prestige aside, he exalted at the chance to work under Pike for a reason. He snickered to himself for a moment. Working under Pike, indeed. Sometimes he forgot how clever he could be.
He heard a door slide open and reflexively he glanced at it. He stopped and stared. Hikaru was exiting his bedroom, ostensibly to head to the mess like Pavel.
His stomach dropped down into his knees, all happy thoughts forgotten.
It was not as if the treatment he had given him for the past four months was undeserved. Quite the contrary, he deserved little more than scorn for his actions and he was aware of that fact.
That didn't make it any less painful.
Hikaru took a moment to adjust his tunic sleeves, a slight frown on his face. Eventually he sensed he was being watched and looked up. His eyes met Pavel's, a neutral look on his face.
Pavel waved.
It was not returned.
The two stared at each other for a time, and he slowly dropped his hand down by his side. Sulu began to make his way to their front door.
“Hika...Lieutenant Sulu?”
His roommate stopped and turned to look at him, still with that guarded expression.
“I apologize,” Pavel began. “I spoke harshly with you last evening on the bridge. Was uncalled for and I am sorry.”
The pilot inclined his head in a slight nod. “You don't have to apologize, we were under attack. It happens.” He shrugged. “I appreciate it, though.” With that, he turned and left their quarters.
Pavel found himself deflate at this. On the one hand, he was completely professional towards him and didn't use a colorful idiom for where he could stick his apology. On the other, he didn't offer one in return or really accept it.
At least he wasn't ignored completely, which he probably would have been even just a few weeks ago. Small progress was still progress, he supposed.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he too made his way out of their quarters.
Marla McGivers scanned the crowd in the mess hall, looking for a place to sit. It took her a while, but she saw that a seat was open at Ricky's table. She wasn't particularly close with him, but she knew him fairly well from their time together at the academy. She began to walk over when she saw Kevin Riley sit down across from him. She didn't know Riley very well either, but the times they had spoken she found him to be nice, the same way everyone else in Starfleet was nice.
“Is it all right if I sit here?”
Ricky looked up at her with a smile. “Sure Marla. Hey Kevin, you know Marla right?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said with a smile. “Always nice to see you.”
She smiled and nodded in return.
“Anyways,” Ricky said, “Kirk's antsy about these jokers for some reason. He's got us watching them around the clock, especially their leader.”
Marla looked up from her pancakes. “I'm sorry, what's this?”
“You didn't hear?” He looked at her with wide eyes. “The people who attacked us last night are terrorists and we have a bunch of them in custody, including their leader. Like I said, Kirk's nervous about them, so we're all on a rotation guarding them. I've got to do it during beta shift.”
Riley shook his head a few times. “I don't know what they were expecting, attacking the Enterprise. We're the flag ship for a reason.”
She was listening with rapt attention. “Terrorists? What kind of terrorists?”
“They're Romulan sympathizers, anti-Federation douchebags,” Riley said as he buttered his toast. “Apparently they think the Federation is some sort of dictatorship, and they're trying to get it to disband. They attack a lot of ships, to send some sort of message or whatever.”
“Yeah pretty much,” Ricky said with a nod. “Although their leader seems nice enough, he was very polite about the whole thing. He just kept smiling while we locked him up. I don't blame Kirk for being suspicious, something's up with that guy.”
Riley nodded his agreement.
Marla, on the other hand, was completely fascinated. “This leader, what's he like?”
“His name's Julien. Accent pegs him as French, dresses like he's rich.” Ricky shrugged. “It's weird, his followers were all beside themselves that they couldn't be with him. It makes me think they're like a cult or something.”
“Wouldn't be the first time,” Kevin muttered darkly.
She brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Go on.”
“Anyways, we're going to turn them into the authorities when we dock at Earth. Starfleet wants this Julien guy to stand trial for what he's done.”
Marla's expression changed from interested to somewhat sad. “They're taking him to court?”
“Yeah. With the amount of damage this guy's caused, he's going to get the book thrown at him I bet.” Ricky drank his coffee. “He'll be lucky if he gets life, you know?”
“Sucks for him,” Riley said with a shrug. “Hey did you hear about Richards in engineering? She's getting a promotion.”
“Oh sweet,” he said. “She works pretty hard, so that's good to hear.”
The topic of conversation was changed, but Marla found she was still focusing on the terrorists. She was particularly fascinated by the thought of their leader. He didn't sound like a terrorist to her, he sounded more like a man with convictions. A man with a cause, which is more than she could say for a lot of the people in Starfleet.
As she slowly began to eat, she made a note to try to make time to go down to the brig. Perhaps see this Julien for herself.
As usual, the bridge was filled with a quiet form of activity, everyone at their stations performing their duties with grace and precision. Spock found himself reviewing documents regarding the capture of their prisoners.
Well, reviewing as best as one can with a sharp pain behind his eyes.
Instead of going to the medical bay for treatment, he opted to go back to the quarters he shared with Nyota. For thirty minutes, he meditated and it appeared to have cured his headache. He felt immeasurably better and went back to the bridge, where he performed his duties at a higher efficiency rate than typical.
When he woke that morning, however, not only had the headache returned but it was even worse than it was previously. It was most frustrating indeed.
He sighed and rubbed his temples. Fortunately Nyota was on gamma shift that day and therefore was not present on the bridge to see him so stressed.
It was very unlike him and illogical to lie to her, but something about going to see Doctor McCoy regarding this ailment made him feel...uneasy. He was distinctly uncomfortable with the thought of being examined, as if he should keep this private. He couldn't really figure out what was making him react that way, which further cemented his belief that he should keep it to himself.
Spock closed his eyes for a moment as he deepened his breathing. Meditation exercises seemed to make the pain abate for a few hours here or there, and so he kept taking the time to do it when his head would ache. Breathe in, out, slowly. Just a few deep breaths and he was already feeling better. He opened his eyes and surveyed the bridge yet again.
They would be back on Earth in forty-eight hours. There was a Vulcan healer who worked not too far from Starfleet Headquarters. Perhaps he could consult with her if the pains still continued in that time.
For now, he continued to breathe.
Around lunchtime, Hikaru Sulu made his way into the medical wing to pick his girlfriend up as he did every other day they were on shift at the same time. Geoffrey M’Benga was fiddling with one of the biobeds near the front entranceway, and he looked up at Hikaru with a smile.
“Hi Hikaru. Lunch time already?”
“Sure is,” he answered in a bright tone. Pausing to look around him for a moment, he looked back at Geoff with a curious expression.
“She’s in the back supply closet with Kowalski handling something for Leonard.”
“Oh sure,” he replied as he glanced toward McCoy’s office. Speaking of... “I should go say hi to him while I’m waiting.”
For some reason this made the smile leave Geoff’s face. “...I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now.”
The pilot looked at him again with a curious expression. “What makes you say that?”
Geoff gave a somewhat helpless shrug. “He came in all quiet this morning and just kind of delegated everyone into doing busywork, I guess so we’d leave him alone.”
“That’s not that unusual, you know how he gets. He’s just in one of his moods.”
“Maybe. This feels different though. He’d barely look at us and he hasn’t said so much as ten words to anyone, let alone snapped or complained. We’ve all just let him be because that’s obviously what he needs.”
Sulu clucked his tongue once. That wasn’t normal at all. He remembered a time about a year ago where McCoy was in a similar state. He got him through it by talking things out. Maybe he could try it again. “I think I’ll take my chances. If he tells me to back off, I’ll just come get Chris.”
Geoff nodded. “Sure. Good luck.” With that, he went back to the biobed, leaving Sulu to walk across the med bay and to McCoy’s door. After hesitating for a moment, he rang the entry bell.
“Come in,” said the doctor and wow, yeah he really did sound kind-of defeated. This may be worse than he thought. He slid the door open and stepped inside. “Just thought I’d say hi while I’m here.” He paused for a moment. “You don’t look so hot. Everything all right?”
Indeed, he didn’t look hot at all; he actually looked quite miserable. He kind-of half-shrugged for a moment. “I’m not sure I should say anything. It’s private.”
That ruled out everything except his relationship with the captain.
Uh oh.
“I see.” Sulu hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Well, I’ve been helpful in the past, but I also understand if this is something you can’t really talk about. It’s your call though, I’m good either way.”
He found he didn’t quite know how to continue the conversation, so he decided to just wait for either an invitation to sit or him being kicked out. McCoy silently regarded him for a long moment before he gestured at one of the chairs across his desk. Inwardly relieved at his success, he took the seat and waited.
“I probably don’t have to say this,” Leonard finally began, “but this doesn’t leave this room.”
Okay wow. This must be serious because normally when they talked there were no such caveats.
“Sure.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, wiping a hand down his face. “Okay.” Leonard swallowed once. Best to just come out with it. “Jim asked me to marry him.”
“What? That’s fantastic! I mean it’s a little surprising because of the timing, but it’s not a shock or...” he trailed off as he looked at the other man’s face. “...It was a shock to you, wasn’t it?”
“Putting it mildly,” he said in a dry-yet-sad tone. “Apparently, there are some problems with his image and Pike suggested we get married to lay them to rest.”
Oh.
“You think the only reason why he asked is because of Pike?”
“He admitted he’d never have thought to if not for this, yeah.”
“Yeah, but it’s also Jim you’re talking about here.” Sulu leaned forward in his chair. “Just because the idea wasn’t his doesn’t mean the actual question’s not. He doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. We both know if he didn’t genuinely want to spend his life with you, he wouldn’t ask.”
Rather uncharacteristically, McCoy looked down at his shirt sleeves. He began to pick at the hem of one of them, a nervous habit Sulu recognized as belonging to the captain. He did this for a while without looking up before finally speaking again.
“I’m not good at being a husband.”
“You didn’t think you were good at anything involving romance before Jim.”
“No, that’s...I mean, yes, that’s what I thought, that’s true. But, Sulu, I was really bad at being a husband.”
“How so?” Hikaru leaned forward in his chair, genuinely curious. The doctor never really opened up about his marriage before, not even really to Kirk. This could maybe help him suss out the problem.
“We only got married because Jocelyn got pregnant.”
That was unexpected.
“We’d only been together a little while, and it seemed like the right thing to do. Then Jo was born and things seemed better. They weren’t amazing, but they were good. Then...I don’t know. I realized it was a mistake after a couple of years, and I think she did too, but we’re both stubborn, and we never spoke to each other about our concerns.” He looked up again and Sulu was taken aback by just how much fear he saw in his eyes. “What if I make another mistake like that? What if it doesn’t work and we stay together even though we shouldn’t? I’ll lose everything, and I just can’t hurt him like that.”
Thinking very carefully before he spoke, Hikaru managed to put a reassuring look on his face.
“I think you worrying about this at all says that you’d do much better this time.”
The doctor didn’t look convinced.
“I mean, you just said you married her out of obligation. With Jim, you don’t have that. You have nothing but how you feel for him and how he feels for you. You’d both move heaven and earth for each other. You have one of the strongest partnerships I’ve ever seen. More to the point, you talk to each other about things.”
There was an awkward silence.
“I went overboard, didn’t I,” Hikaru said with a wince.
“Little bit, yeah.”
“Sorry.”
Bones shrugged. “It’s fine, you just sound like my Aunt Ginger.”
Hikaru winced a second time. “Anyway, my point is that you guys are solid. I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay.”
“But what if we’re not?”
“But what if you are?” Hikaru shrugged. “I mean I can’t tell you what to do. All I can tell you is that he loves you.” He glanced out the glass wall and spotted his girlfriend. She noticed him looking at her and waved to him with a grin. “You’re the only one who can decide if the risk is worth it.” He stood from his chair. “I’m sorry I can’t stay, I’ve got lunch plans. You can comm me if you need to talk more, okay?”
McCoy nodded. “I think I’m good, I just need a little more time to think. Thanks, Sulu. I just...thanks.”
The pilot smiled. “Hey, I should be thanking you for what you do for Christine.”
Leonard looked confused. “How’s that?”
“You know, with letting her get that practice at reading those lab results for when she can finish getting her MD last night.”
Both of his eyebrows raised at that. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. She doesn’t examine charts, and she wasn’t even here last night until we went on the yellow alert.”
A feeling of dread began to overtake Hikaru. If she wasn’t here then that meant she lied to him. Why? Why would she do that? “Oh. I must have...misheard her or something. It’s my mistake, sorry.”
“No problem.” The doctor didn’t quite smile, but he didn’t look so defeated either. That would have made Hikaru feel better but just...not right then. “Thanks again, Sulu. I mean it.”
“Anytime.” With a wave, he made his way out of the office and towards the front door, where Christine was waiting.
“Hey you,” she said with a bright smile, and in spite of the circumstances he felt his spirit lift a bit at that. “Ready?”
He opened his mouth for a moment then closed it. On the one hand, he didn’t want to pretend that things were okay. On the other, he had no idea how to ask her about this without being accusatory. It was probably best to wait before confronting her, just so he didn’t cause a scene.
But then again, it was more likely that it was nothing, or that he misunderstood her. Maybe she just wanted some time to herself and didn’t feel like arguing about it.
Still though, if there was anything he hated it was dishonesty. Being lied to for any reason had the potential for deal-breaking with him. Look at what happened between him and Pavel. There was no reason why she couldn’t have just told him that.
“I can’t after all. I think I’m getting a headache and I can’t really bail on the rest of my shift. I think I’ll just grab something light and take it in my quarters, if that’s okay.”
Christine frowned at him. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to grab a hypo for you right now? Or I could bring it to you...”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’ve got stuff in my quarters and I just think I should be alone and quiet.” Admittedly, he realized that two wrongs didn’t make a right, but she was acting like nothing had happened. She was acting normal, and she had lied to him. He just needed to calm down and think.
Alone.
The frown turned to flat out worry. “Okay. I’ll come by after work and check on you.”
He forced a smile he didn’t really feel on his face. “Sure. Sounds good. I’ll see you.”
Without so much as a kiss goodbye, he turned and left medical, leaving a worried and somewhat perplexed Nurse Chapel in his wake.
Without preamble, Spock entered the captain’s ready room, keeping the door open behind him.
“It is time.”
“Do I have to? Because I’m really not fucking up for this. I mean, shouldn’t Cupcake or someone do this instead of me?” Jim Kirk looked imploringly at his first officer. “I mean, my patience is like gone, and I’ve been snapping at the yeomen.”
“While that is troublesome,” Spock grudgingly agreed, “de Maupassant needs to be interrogated before we hand him over to the Starfleet Police in two days. Per standard protocol, that duty befalls the captain as outlined in Article 30, section...”
“I know the code, Spock. Shit.” Jim sat down in his desk chair with a flounce. “I just hate everything right now, but especially that guy. He’s just so smug and self-possessed and just...something is completely wrong here. Can’t you feel it?”
“Deciding to ignore protocol because of one’s personal feelings is illogical,” Spock argued. “However, I must concede the point that this was, as you said, too easy. It would not surprise me if there is something that we are not seeing.”
Jim nodded. “Well, good, at least I’m not crazy. Though seriously, if he pulls that smug shit again I may just go ahead and beat his ass anyway. Article 14 and whatnot.”
“There is a thin energy barrier separating you from causing him physical harm,” Spock pointed out as he lightly gripped the bridge of his nose. This caused Jim to pull himself together for a moment and eye him with concern.
“You all right?”
“It is only a headache.”
“Have you taken anything? I’m sure Bo...someone in medical can fix you up.”
Spock shook his head. “It is not significant. I have been neglecting my meditation for several days now. Once I do that more regularly, I shall be fine.” He let go of his nose. “You are stalling.”
“I’m genuinely concerned because you don’t get headaches.”
Spock stared at him for moment.
“Fine, I’m stalling. Shut up.” He got up out of the chair. “Come on, we’re burning daylight.”
“I do not understand that idiom as daylight by its very nature is burning as it is a chemical reaction in a star’s...”
“Spock?”
“Yes?”
“Let it go.”
Spock stared at him for a moment. He obviously was not being facetious when he said he was in a bad mood. Wordlessly, he turned and they began to make their way down to the brig. It was tense, unusually so, and Spock found himself wondering exactly what happened to put the captain in such a state. He was about to ask when they found themselves at the doorway of their destination.
Oh well.
Jim somewhat angrily punched in the code and stepped through, Spock not too far behind him. They walked past the cells together and most of them were full of Aehallh members. As he specified, Julien de Maupassant sat in one by himself down at the end. He sat with his arms crossed and his eyes closed on the edge of the cot. Jim stood just in front of blue barrier of the cell door, also with his arms crossed. After a moment, de Maupassant sensed he was being watched and he opened his eyes.
“I was wondering when you would come to visit,” he said softly. “You have kept me waiting for quite a while, James.”
“Stop calling me that,” Jim snapped. “You keep acting like we’re friends. We’re not.”
“I am merely attempting to be civil.”
“You attacked my ship and you want civility? Are you kidding me?” Jim uncrossed his arms and glared at Julien. “You’re unbelievable.”
“One man’s opinion.” He stood and moved to stand close to the barrier without touching it. “Others disagree.”
“I’m not interested in how your sycophants feel about you. I’m honestly not interested in much you have to say.”
Julien made a disapproving noise with his tongue. “I am merely making a point that there is no need for us to be hostile to one another. You say we are not friends, I simply see no reason why that cannot change.”
Pointedly ignoring his words, Jim got as close the barrier as he could. “Why’d you do it? You’re not stupid, you know your ship was outclassed by us and that once the surprise wore off we’d have you nailed. So why come after us? Why come after any of the ships you’ve attacked? What was in it for you?”
Strangely enough, the man smiled at his question. He slowly placed both of his hands on either side of the doorway, leaning in as if he was a lover. He whispered his words when he finally spoke.
“La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid.”
Jim narrowed his eyes. “Now I know you’re messing with me. Revenge? I mean, that doesn’t even make sense. For what?”
“For your treatment of the Romulans. For your silencing of their plight and your habit of putting them down as if they were nothing. For your constant enforcement of your misguided ideals and despicable so-called morals. The Federation doesn’t want peace, it wants power. It wants slaves. It will have those slaves through the guise of peacekeeping measures. You all play as if you are superior because of your exalted Prime Directive deeming cultures unacceptable if they have no technology you can pilfer. It’s shameful.”
“You’re disgusting,” Jim spat. “You stand here and lecture me on the failings of the Federation, when you run around attacking innocent civilians to what? Try to prove some point?”
“I did what I had to do to show the Federation’s hand. It was all to demonstrate you are nothing better than the people you claim to be against and strike down in the name of your supposed righteousness. Considering the rigidity and unfair dogma the Federation preaches, I cannot say that I was surprised at someone striking against you so, as Nero did.”
Spock stiffened at this.
Jim, however, snarled. “You’re insane. You’re absolutely, completely insane if you think that what Nero did was in any way deserved.”
“I said no such thing. I said it was not a surprise,” Julien said as he smiled. “No one deserves to have their home destroyed, not out of anger or out of simple bureaucratic inaction. I simply cannot blame him for feeling strongly about the situation, and I think the lack of compassion your Federation has categorically shown the Romulan Empire since is deplorable.”
Spock’s eyes actually widened and Jim’s face flushed with anger. He gently pulled him a little away from the cell. “You okay,” he whispered to the Vulcan.
After closing his eyes for a moment, Spock turned to him with a carefully neutral expression. “Not particularly,” he whispered back, “Displaying my anger solves nothing. However, I believe it would be logical to defer all further conversation to you.”
“Fair enough,” he said. They made their way back to the cell and a somewhat smug de Maupassant. “You’re a miserable piece of shit.”
“Captain...” Spock interrupted as he held up his right hand as a signal to let it go. He made no further attempts to interrupt him.
“Such language,” Julien scolded. “I have only addressed you with the utmost respect. It is a shame you feel you cannot give me the same treatment in kind.”
“Just play straight with me. What’s your angle?”
“Angle? I believe I have explained...”
“You want me to think you’ve explained. You want me to believe you’ve told me everything. You also think by throwing around what happened to Vulcan you’ll throw the two of us off-balance so that we won’t put it together. You say you’re familiar with me, and yet you’re underestimating my intelligence.” It was Jim’s turn to smile, although it was cold and humorless. “You think I’m not onto you, you think I don’t see that there’s something more going on here. You think you’re playing me.”
Julien shook his head. “How could I possibly play you? I’m trapped in a cell, awaiting transfer to a military prison to answer for my theoretical crimes. You’ve isolated me from my supporters. My ship is crippled and being held in your tractor beam. You did not even let me keep the cufflinks that have been passed down in my family for generations or my shoes.” With a sigh, he made his way back to the cot and sat down. “I do not understand what more you would like from me, James, other than me outright speaking the words you have won.”
Grudgingly, Jim had to admit he had a point. The evidence was lacking for him to be so accusatory. It was cut-and-dry from the outside. Maybe most of it was his frustration with Bones, but still...
Something wasn’tl right.
“I’m going to ask you one more time; why? Why orchestrate all of this instead of going through the proper channels to champion your cause?”
Julien shrugged one shoulder. “Sometimes one has to shout to be heard. That is all.”
“You wish us to believe that everything you have done is simply to get a message across,” Spock replied, having obviously regained his footing. “That is illogical, as people are more open to changing their minds without provocation or hostility.”
Jim looked at Spock, who was watching de Maupassant carefully. His gaze was somewhat shuttered and he couldn’t tell if it was from the headache or if he was still concealing his outrage at the mention of the destruction of Vulcan. He looked back at the terrorist, who was still sitting implacable before him.
“It is what it is,” he said. “It is the choice I made. I did not feel I could afford the time to try navigating through proper channels, I believe strongly that things must be changed now. As previously stated, I did what I had to do for my cause. It is unfortunate that there was collateral damage, but such a thing is seldom avoidable.”
Jim looked at Spock a second time, and this time he met his gaze. They looked at each other for a long moment before the whistle of a communicator sounded.
Terrific.
Realizing it was his, Jim grabbed it from his waist and stepped away to answer it. He paused and looked back at the cell. Julien was still sitting neatly on his cot while Spock said something to him. He was just far enough away he couldn’t quite make out the conversation, but he did see that Julien was answering politely.
“Kirk here, go ahead.”
“Captain, it’s Doctor M’Benga. We’ve got the results of the scans on the Aehallh members you asked for. They’re ready whenever you are down here in sickbay.”
Jim sighed. Going to sickbay meant seeing Bones and he was so not ready for that. “Can’t you just tell me over the comm?”
It was Geoff’s turn to sigh. “Medical Code states that...”
“I know, I know, you can’t,” Jim interrupted. “I was being rhetorical. I’ll be down in a few, Kirk out.” He closed the communicator and turned his attention back to Spock and Julien. After walking back over, he tapped Spock on the shoulder. “I need to head down to medical. I’m going to call Cupcake to get a security officer here so you can keep doing what you’re doing.”
Spock nodded. “Agreed.”
Jim frowned as he opened his communicator back up.
He was pretty sure he wasn’t up for this, but it was all part of the job.
Montgomery Scott waited in line at the mess hell for a sandwich. He hadn’t eaten yet today and was frankly starving.
A nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he was supposed to have breakfast that morning with Pavel. He quickly squashed it and put it to the side.
Okay, so he might have possibly panicked when he woke up that morning and remembered he was to meet Pavel for breakfast, before pacing frantically around his quarters, taking two showers, having a triple of whiskey, and then deciding not to go. He changed and went straight to engineering without looking back.
Although, he did feel terrible about standing Pavel up. He just wasn’t sure he could face him after his giant epiphany of terror and doom from the night before.
He had feelings for Pavel.
He had strong feelings for Pavel, actually, and it was kind-of amazing that he hadn’t noticed it. It was so easy and so natural to fall for him, they shared a lot in terms of things like basic personality and their world views. They were both brilliant. The things they had talked about building together were unparalleled.
But...Scotty was thirty-eight years old. Pavel was about to turn twenty and could probably have anyone he wanted. He’d even been with the Captain! He’d seen the holos of his former girlfriend, Irina, also and wow, she was a stunner. He should be with someone young and gorgeous like he was. Not an old pub crawling engineer.
He realized it was cowardly to just bail on him like that, but he honestly wasn’t sure how to face him. If the captain, doctor, and Richards had all noticed, then he must be incredibly obvious. What would he do if Pavel were to figure it out, assuming he hadn’t already? He didn’t think he’d do something unkind but he’d most certainly get rejected. He pretty obviously only thought of Scotty as a friend.
Even worse, what if he was only nice to him out of pity?
A nagging voice in the back of his mind pointed out that friends don’t generally orchestrate fancy picnics for each other, or spend every moment of their off time coming to visit people while they worked, even out of pity, but he pushed it aside and grabbed his sandwich.
It was inappropriate.
He just wasn’t a suitable partner for Pavel, not much how much he cared for him. Which, hey, it stung a little to know that but facts were facts.
“Where were you this morning? I waited and you did not show.”
Bugger.
“Oh, hi Pavel.” He turned around and there he was with a confused expression. “There was just...the dilithium crystals needed recalibration and I just...forgot. I’m sorry, I should have messaged you.”
Pavel’s face softened at this. “Is all right. These things, they happen. You can make it up to me with lunch.” He grinned.
“Well, actually,” Scotty began. “I’ve got to work through my lunch too. The damages from the attack won’t repair themselves and we need to be ready for the upgrades when we get to Earth.”
The navigator frowned. “Well, all right. Dinner then.”
Careful to not look at him, Scotty shook his head. “No, I’ll be working late in the ‘tubes. Today’s just...not good, Pavel.” He began to make his way out of the mess hall. “I’m sorry.”
He really was. He knew it wasn’t exactly fair to ditch him like that, but he just had absolutely no idea how to talk to him. He needed to think.
If he had turned around though, he would have seen the hurt look on Pavel’s face.
Jim hesitated for a moment before heading into the medical wing, making sure to school his features into a carefully neutral expression. He was greeted inside by the sight of Bones discussing something with Geoff. It made him stop for a moment as he hovered just inside of the sick bay door.
Yeah, he really wasn’t ready for it.
Seeing Bones was like a punch to the throat delivered by an angry bear that shot bees from its mouth, and Jim was allergic to bees. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of his rejection.
Granted, Bones hadn’t said no, not exactly. But he hadn’t said yes, either, and knowing him a no was way more likely given his reservations.
And it wasn’t like they weren’t real or anything, either. Jim didn’t know much about Jocelyn or their marriage, but he knew it did a real number on him. They had been divorced for going on five years and only just recently had they begun to speak amicably, partly because of Jim pointing out that Jo deserved having two parents not napalming each other when in the same room together.
Jim understood all of this, and he definitely understood how random the whole proposal thing seemed, especially with the way he opened the conversation.
It still hurt, worse than just about anything he ever felt before.
He knew Bones loved him, he just...he guessed he thought he loved him enough to set aside his fears. The revelation that he didn’t...well, it stung.
Maybe he was failing somehow in their relationship that Bones didn’t feel safe with him, but he honestly couldn’t see where he was making a mistake. He clearly was though, if Bones didn’t want to marry him, if Bones didn’t feel the same way.
He sighed out loud.
Whatever. He had other things to worry about that took precedence over his relationship drama. Without another thought, he made his way over to Geoff and Bones.
“So,” he began. “What’s up, Docs?”
Geoff smiled and Bones gave him a look that was a cross between worried and professional. “Captain, we’ve got the results of the scans you ordered.”
“I gathered,” he snapped, and he couldn’t help but feel a little triumphant over the fact that Bones winced. “Sorry, I mean...what’s up?”
The two doctors looked at each other for a moment before Bones finally began to speak. “They all came back clear. No biohazards, nothing even on a molecular level.”
“Really?” Jim had to admit he was a bit surprised.
“Some of them are passing around a cold, but other than that they’re all clear,” Geoff said with a shrug. “Even de Maupassant. Apart from traces from some old injuries, he’s in perfect shape.”
Huh.
Well, shit. There went that theory. This wasn’t enough to make him relax about Julien or his little league of flunkies, although it was a bit of a relief that his crew was not in any immediate danger from any biological threats.
For a moment he thought about Spock and his headache. He made a note to order him down to medical, just to play it safe.
“All right then,” he finally said. “If that’s all, I’ll be heading back to the brig.”
“Actually,” Bones began. “There is something, if you’ve got a minute.” Geoff looked back and forth between the two of them. He noticed the stiffness of Jim’s posture and the somewhat fearful look on Bones’ face.
“Well, I’m uncomfortable,” he said in a cheery tone. “I’ll be...checking the vaccines to make sure they still...exist. Or something.” With that, he was off with a sheepish smile.
A feeling of dread began to wash over Jim before he squashed it. He swallowed.
“I’m not sure I do.” It was kind of petty, and immature, but just...not then. He just couldn’t right then.
“Please, Jim,” he said and wow, he was begging. A small part of Jim couldn’t help but feel a little good at that. “Just a minute in my office. I promise I’ll let you go after that.”
The most frustrating part about everything was the fact that, even though Bones could say no to him...he couldn’t say no to Bones.
“Fine. One minute.” He turned and made his way to Bones’ office without looking back to make certain he was following. He opened the door and crossed the room to pace behind the desk. Bones quickly entered and both shut and locked the door behind him.
“Well? Go ahead. Get it over with.” He continued to pace.
Bones stood by the door with his back resting against it. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes back up and he watched Jim move. His right hand came up and extended outwards as he said the word, “Yes.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “I don’t really have time for games, Bones, just go ahead and...” Slowly he stopped pacing and turned to face him. “Yes?”
Bones seemed to calm a little her began to smile a little. “Yes.”
As a broad grin formed on his face, Jim felt himself become about ten times lighter. Bones was going to marry him! “You...we’re...”
“Yeah, we are.” Bones turned more serious for a moment. “I don’t want a long engagement though, I want to do it while we’re on Earth so Jo can come. I realize that’s not really any kind of notice but...”
“No, no I wouldn’t....I wouldn’t want it any other way either! We can do it the day after we get back, though it’ll probably have to be in San Francisco. We’ll have to delay going to Hawaii by a couple of days, but now that can be our honeymoon. I just...I can’t...” Something occurred to him then and his face fell a little. “I don’t have a ring for you.”
Bones waved a hand. “We don’t need that bullshit, Jim, the wedding bands will do just fine.”
“The way I asked you was terrible,” Jim kept going on his tangent. “I can’t fix the ring part, but I can fix that.” He walked over to where Bones was standing and slowly got down onto one knee.
“What are you doing,” Bones hissed.
“Leonard Horatio McCoy,” Jim began very solemnly. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you honor me by giving me your hand in marriage?”
For some reason, Bones’ face was bright red and he started to kind-of pull on his shoulders. “Jim, get off the floor.”
Jim ignored him and tried asking again. “Will you marry me, Bones?”
“Get off the damn floor!”
He just shook his head with a grin. “Marry me, Bones.”
Glaring down at him, Bones retorted with, “I’m not saying yes again until you get up off the floor.”
“Well, I’m not getting up off the floor until you say yes,” Jim shot back.
They stared at each other for a while, neither of them budging. Finally, Bones slumped a little.
“Fine, dammit, yes. You happy? Now get up, asshole.” Jim obliged and reached out towards him. Bones grudgingly met him halfway and he pulled him into a long, deep kiss.
That was when the cheering and applause thundered throughout sick bay. Bones grimaced just as Jim broke the kiss and looked out through the glass wall they were standing in front of. The entirety of the med bay staff were hooting, cheering, and clapping for them. Even Chapel.
“I uh...I forgot about the windows.”
“You don’t say.”
“That’s why you wanted me off the floor, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is.”
“Shit.” Jim ducked his face down into his shoulder. “There’s only one thing to do.” Without so much as another word, he managed to dip Bones in his arms. The doctor flailed a little in surprise and began to swear profusely. “May as well give ‘em what they want.”
He then leaned down and planted a long, deep kiss on his mouth. Bones continued to flail a little but quickly relaxed as he brought his hands up to cup Jim’s face. The cheering grew much louder, although at this point Chapel was rolling her eyes as she went back to her work.
And if three of the nurses took a picture and sent it to the all hands list with the caption of “guess who’s getting hitched, y’all,” well...who could blame them?
When her shift was over, Marla made her way down to the brig. She had her toolkit in her right arm so if anyone asked why she was there she could claim to be working. Being on the engineering staff meant she had the access codes to almost all areas of the ship, so getting in wasn’t a question. She punched the buttons and quietly made her way inside.
The Aelhallh members sat in their cells, some of them sleeping. Most of them were talking quietly to one another. A few still were eating the rations that had been brought down to them by security. They looked cramped and uncomfortable, which she supposed was typical for prisoners.
A few of them looked up at her as she passed and she smiled at them. They smiled back, obviously relieved at the presence of a friendly face. Her heart went out to them.
She glanced up ahead and noticed that one man was alone. He was also being interrogated by Commander Spock and Lieutenant Anderson. That was odd, where was the captain?
The PADD strapped to her belt vibrated. She decided to play it safe and duck behind a wall just out of view of the First Officer and Security Chief. Wondering who would possibly be messaging her right then, she pulled up the message on her PADD.
It was a picture of the captain and the chief medical officer kissing and the caption said that they just became engaged.
Marla deleted the message with a disgusted noise in the back of her throat.
This was ridiculous.
The captain was off sucking face with his boyfriend, instead of being here to do his job. He should be taking care of his duties, not romancing Doctor McCoy! The worst part was, if she pointed out how hypocritical that was she would get reamed out. God forbid you express any opinion different from the majority. How typical of Starfleet.
She turned a little bit from the corner and watched. Spock and Anderson seemed to be wrapping things up, which meant they’d be leaving soon. As she took a deep breath, they began to leave the brig. Anderson tapped the security officer who was posted by the door on the shoulder in a sign of solidarity. The officer smiled at him before going back to her reading.
Perfect.
Marla made her way over to the cell Spock and Anderson were just near. The man inside was laying on his cot with his eyes closed. She studied his features for a moment and her heart skipped a little. He was very handsome. She mentally sketched him in her mind, noting the angle of his nose and the shape of his brow.
Gathering up her nerves, she cleared her throat. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to disturb you.”
The man, de Maupassant she recalled, slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her. Quickly assuming the role of a gentleman, he stood and walked over to her, careful not to get too close to her. “I must admit, this is a surprise, although not an unwelcome one.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but notice how nice it looked on him, how sweet his eyes were. “I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”
“My name is Lieutenant Marla McGivers. I’m the ship historian on board the Enterprise.”
“Ah. I am Julien de Maupassant. Enchanté.” He bowed a little and she couldn’t help but blush in response. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were being treated okay, Monsieur de Maupassant.”
“Julien, please.”
“Julien?”
“Yes, if you do not mind,” his smile became wider. “Friends call each other by their given names, and I believe that you and I shall become good friends.”
Marla smiled back.
Chapter One | Chapter Three A
