ken_ichijouji: (omgyaywtf // kirk/bones)
And I watched it.

The fuck did I just watch?

There were people who acted like Brownies (elves, not baked goods), and I couldn't find the one part all that scintillating because they were in a vat of fucking milk which is disgusting, and the plot centers around a quilt, their dog is agoraphobic and lives in a box, and I just...I don't know.

I mean it did its job because I was rooting for Rob and Lucinda, and when what's her face became all Liar Liar Pants on Fire I got all mad about it.

But just...what the hell else was going on in this movie?

Last night I watched "And Soon the Darkness," which was pretty tepid as far as thrillers go. I did not, however, expect massive spoiler ) Everyone in that film had the Idiot Ball in spades, though, and honestly maybe people would have cared about Ellie disappearing had she any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Thank you, Hollywood, for once again sucking at developing women.

Speaking of poorly developed women in film, I saw "Small Town Saturday Night" during the [livejournal.com profile] mccoy_and_kirk welcome chat, and that movie was...like...halfway through I just completely checked out on all the other story arcs except for Chris Pine's. And God the girlfriend...I have seldom wanted to shake a fictional character as hard as I did while watching that movie. Like she's in my top ten for "worst written movie females" ever. I can't even blame the actress because every other stage direction she had was "look down to the ground blandly and cry." Just...Jesus.

So now I think I'm going to watch "Bottle Shock" because it, too, is streaming. Will I be able to do anything but laugh uproariously at Chris Pine's hair? Will my head explode?

ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

ETA: The movie opens with Chris awkward white guy dancing stoned. I don't know that I can handle this tonight. I think I need more alcohol.

...Is that Eliza Dushku? Holy shit, it's fucking Eliza Dushku.

The girl gets wet washing out the big tank thing and all the dudes stare at her while eating. Really, Bottle Shock? Really?

ETA again: I kinda want RPF of Chris Pine and Eliza Dushku. Which reminds me that I was supposed to write Chris Pine/Alicia Keys "Smokin' Aces" RPF.

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October 2013

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